10 Things I've done meme

[valarltd]

From the whole F'list

Ten things I've done that you (probably) haven't. Stories available on request.

1) Lost my footing rappelling, flipped upside down and hit the cliff.
2) sprained my shoulder doing it.
3) Did three out of four labors with no pain meds at all, and the fourth with only an analgesic
4) Delivered a baby totally alone: no husband, no doctor, no nurse, no midwife.
5) Been a medical textbook photograph
6) crocheted with latigo leather
7) cooked a whole dragon
8) Been burned by a celebrity's cigarette
9) made my own sex toys
10) wrote fanfiction based on a social studies textbook in third grade.

Comments

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

Now I'm all curious about what you did for number 9. I mean, reusing something designed for something else as a sex toy has become a familiar enough idea via the wonder that is fanfic, but making your own isn't something I've heard of anyone else doing. It's not the most impressive one on your list, but it is the only one which makes me want to ask for instructions. With the possible exception of number 7.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I made spreader bars from dowels and hooks.

I made nipple clamps on the cheap by a trip to the hardware store. $3 for 4 sets as opposed to $8/set.

I've made my own rather fancifully-shaped dildoes, using a dowel as the armature, polymer clay for the form and a food-safe ceramic glaze.

I've made a zipper (clothespins all hooked together).

I'm trying to figure out how to make a Pear, with minimal success.

[not-vacillating.livejournal.com]

Wow. Thanks for the details! I'm definately adding this one to the memories, for future reference-- either for practical purposes, or as inspiration for fanfic characters who find themselves strapped for cash.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

Polymer clay for the form and a food-safe ceramic glaze? Wouldn't that be rather ... un-giving and ... uncomfortable?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

That's the general idea.

I don't want my dildoes flesh-like and yielding. I have a husband for that.

I want them oversized, with ridges, spikes, more than one head or other weirdness, and I want them to be uncomfortable if not actually painful.

I want intensity to bring me off as quickly as possible, because I don't have a lot of time to spend in self-love.

Also, I came up using a 10" hard plastic model from Spencers. Softer things don't feel right without a person attached.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

My ex lover made me a plaster-of-paris casting of his dick once and it felt quite uncomfortable up my...ah...is it just different with vaginas?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Depends a lot on the woman.

And I'll be blunt: I want the butt-plug a LOT softer. There I go for the lovely jelly sort commercially available.

But vaginally, I'm something of a size queen, and a lot of a perv. You can't generalize anything about women from me. Most women don't even masturbate by insertion.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

I find you totally fascinating. I have since that very first time you commented in my journal. I have a feeling if we lived in the same city, we'd be good friends!

[watergal.livejournal.com]

4) Delivered a baby totally alone: no husband, no doctor, no nurse, no midwife.

Sounds like no fun to me!

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

It was a bit scary. I rang for the nurse as soon as I realized she was arriving, but they were too slow.

By the time they picked up the intercom (which they did with reasonable speed), I was at "YEARGH! stage. By the time they got to the room (less than 3 minutes after I'd rung), I was tossing back the blankets yelling "She's stuck!"

She was too. She was entirely out of the uterus, so I had nothing to push against, but her legs were still in me. The nurses showed up in time to help her out, cut the cord and listen to me swear a lot.

Dang it, the words "Deliver precipitously" mean just that. And after 3 other kids, my vagina is closer to a waterslide than a narrow channel.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

There is a bunch of these I want to hear about!

4) Delivered a baby totally alone: no husband, no doctor, no nurse, no midwife.
5) Been a medical textbook photograph
7) cooked a whole dragon
8) Been burned by a celebrity's cigarette
9) made my own sex toys

Number 9 should come with instructions please...

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

4 and 9 are discussed above.

5) I had perforated eardrums as a child. once, everything tipped so the doctors had an utterly incredible view of the middle ear. So many release forms were filled out and my middle ear became a textbook photo.

7) 1991, it was our incipient shire's very first event. I decided to serve a dragon. One more skilled than I carved the head out of a block of cheese, and we added bread-machine loaves (round) for the neck. I added a pair of drumsticks to the hugest turkey carcass we could find. And I baked a cake in the shape of a dragon's tail and frosted it to look like scales.

8) I was at KC con II in the early 80s. Judson Scott, not just a handsome man and my crush du jour, was a chain smoker and in a hurry. He apologized and I was completely tongue tied.

[kc-risenphoenix.livejournal.com]

You were at KC Con II? How totally cool! I hadn't moved to KC yet... Hopefully one day you will make it back and I'll meet you...

GREAT stories! WOW!

[morgandawn.livejournal.com]

#1 happened to me - except the guy who was belaying me, freaked and dropped the rope. if the instructor had not caught it.....