valarltd: (pagan)
Since I'm not there, I've been doing a little searching and thinking and meditating.

What do I believe?
Why do I believe it?
Where do I go from here?

My Articles of Faith:
We are all part of the universe. We are energy made material for a little while by way of E=mc^2. Which means there's a lot of energy invested in each of us and if we press on our corner of reality right, we can affect the whole.

Gods are the constructs we make to understand the universe (given reality and power by the energy we lend them). Myths are the stories we tell ourselves about the way the world works. Both of these are vital and true, but should not be taken for fact.

The gods only affect us if we allow them to, by believing in them. A few have enough power, lent them by other people in our lives, or previously by us, to affect us if we don't/no longer believe in them.

Truth and fact have very little to do with each other. Facts are usually true. Truth encompasses many things that have no relationship to fact at all. All myths are true, because they fill a need in the hearer and the teller, a need to understand the world around them. Does observed fact bear out the idea of turtles all the way down? No, of course not. But the story is still true.


Now, where do I go from here?
I've been thinking a lot this fall. I'm not entirely happy with my church. One one hand, I see myself as in a position to do something about the problems I see in it. On the other, I keep asking myself if I really have that much time and energy to devote to anything, especially other people.

I am radically selfish. I hoard my time and energy jealously. I get it. My writing gets it. My company gets it. My family gets it. Anything left over goes out to other people. That is NOT a good quality in a spiritual leader.

I resent being made to leave the house these days. Even for work and grocery shopping, I resent it. And I find this deeply troubling. I blow off a lot of things I want to do. "Writer's Group? nah. Church? do I gotta? Chili cook-off and craftfair? Bleh. Gay pride? Whine, please no." (I did go out to Pride yesterday, but I almost didn't) This scares me, because it's a sign of addiction and a sign of budding agorophobia.

It would be easier to go solitary, show up for sabbats and do my own thing otherwise. It'd probably be healthier for me in the long run. BUT.

I'm a woman of a certain age. I grew up with a sense of obligation to the whole universe for simply letting me exist. I want Oli to grow up with a better spiritual connection than I have. Do these outweigh my selfishness, my need to husband my energy so I can make it through another week of work, another deadline, another tutoring session or another band concert? I haven't decided yet.
valarltd: (Default)
Mudd has a Vlog.
http://www.youtube.com/user/mudd0359

I had a busy day:
delivered Holly
turned in logs
re-charged my TrackKey
Watched X-Men
Crocheted a row and a half on the wedding present
Took Obi for his root canal
Finished the cream section of the gift-exchange afghan
Got the free copies ordered from Ellora. I didn't know they didn't ship automatically. Valerie was endlessly patient with me today.
Went to the library. Got the next two Sackett books
Made dinner
Read the Norse creation myth (up to people) to Dollface and Jonner
Downloaded more pagan coloring books than you can shake a stick at, to compile into a big ol coloring book for Dollface.
Tested Lady MacBeth. Strong berries. Jonner says I smell like tums.
Addressed my cards. There's a few of you getting more than cards. [livejournal.com profile] reannon I have a BIG box for you...
Boosted my word counts

Casting Couch Blues
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
2,407 / 50,000
(4.8%)

(added 520)

Queered SF
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
241 / 4,000
(6.0%)


Long Term
Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
3,407 / 50,000
(6.8%)

587 added
valarltd: (I seem to have died)
Thursday, I got a late start. Everyone had too much freight and I was late getting home. This complicated the fact that Jonner had a Christmas concert.
Add in an accident in Jonesboro, a tanker had failed to make the curve I was going to take, meant I had to go to the next exit and double back. Then we all froze for 2 hours in 33 degree weather for the Christmas parade. Bun and Obi marched with their bands, Dollface wore a cookie costume and walked with the Girl Scouts. Jonner and I froze out tails off, even with an extra blanket.

Friday was a Saturn Day. I was late getting home and Bun had MAGY.

Today, my liftgate wouldn't work. I turned it in for repairs and came home. I accomplished grocery shopping before the TGIO party with the local NaNoWriMo folks. I got a goblet etched for the Yule Party and am well into the next skein of yarn on the afghan. The chocolate pizza will wait until Friday. I also made the first motif for the choker. It's too big so I'm going down on my hook size.

Tomorrow, I have to run my route and be back before 4:30 because Jonner has to be at a tree-lighting by 4:45.

Plunder is still faintly lingering as allspice on my skin.
The tea and tobacco keep it from being too cookie-like.

Adventures

Oct. 1st, 2008 10:00 pm
valarltd: (ravenclaw princess bride)
We have been without a working refrigerator since Thanksgiving. Our freezer was doubling as the fridge.

Then I read someone's post that described the exact problem and what the tech had done on his. I did it on ours (without the tech) and have a freezer that is working again, and a fridge, and an icemaker!

In addition, the melt-water loosened up the scunge under the counters and I mopped it out without having to get down and scour.

Now, I'm going to get busy editing.
valarltd: (I seem to have died)
01) That Gustav is blowing itself out. I was damp all day.

02) That the damp means I had a high pain day. 6 tylenol to quiet my ankle enough to drive.

03) That Mudd and I played Paperwork Ping-Pong because neither of us wants to fill out junk that requires volunteering. Paperwork=still not done. My excuse is in 05

04) That I managed to have to reset the garbage disposal.

05) That I somehow borked my short story page. Everything since last Oct was missing. Pictures all squahed. Spent 2 hours fixing it, recoding. There are covers and samples!


The writing is not an annoyance as I got 1000 words done on "Meanwhile Back at the ranch." Am currently researching Archimedes Steam cannon more, and will consult physicist husband and ballistic expert son re: mounting it on a wagon.
valarltd: (Default)
1) Torquere is celebrating a September Birthday, by giving away a Kindle through a scavenger hunt. More details to come. They're also doing an advent calendar of sorts and a Sip Blitz, which is a lot of shorts released all at once. The royalties from these all go to marriage equality charities and TQ matches 100%. So, if you buy my "Siul a ruhn" you're contributing a dollar to marriage equality.

2) I have three new short stories up at my website for free. http://www.angelsparrow.com/freestories.html "Night Run" is still there. It's been joined by "Show your faces" a horror short story Apex didn't want, the failed Five of Pentacles, "Deadman's Curve," and "Seconds" which didn't make the Collars Toybox, for lack of happy ending. "Seconds" has characters and spoilers for "Color of Magic/Color of Money." So, if you wanted more Taylor and Jarrett and pet, check it out!

3) There is no three

4) Still wibbly over sending out three stories. Won't hear until mid Oct to late Dec on any of them.

ETA: 5) Errand running not going so well, actually. Got all the mailing ready and am off now

6) Off to run errands. Back later.
valarltd: (Default)
I won't be on AIM tonight. I'm catching a movie and going to bed early. I'm running sleep deprived.

being busy

Aug. 11th, 2008 03:02 pm
valarltd: (Default)
We've cleaned the front room, had lunch, washed three loads of clothes and folded three baskets full. The fourth basket should be out soon and then the wash can go in.

And I've busted 811 words already.
Not to mention taking Bun to band practice.

ETA: I totally forgot Bun's dr. appt. So I had to reschedule
valarltd: (Default)
2003: I was working on the Spock/McCoy historical fic, did a 50 word flashfic, We skewed the marriage poll and I won my gay pride t-shirt.

2004: Took Obi shopping for quilt fabric. We never did finish that. Bad spam subject.

2005: No entry

2006: A "How would I die in the Dark ages" quiz. A question about the Wold-Newton family, and a screencap from Sleeper Cell.

2007: No entry. Out of town seeing Mom
valarltd: (Default)
There's a special level of purgatory for theater moms who have to be called 20 minutes after rehersal starts because they were still asleep and forgot.

I know, because I'm headed for it.

So, my breakfast date with Mudd wound up including Jonner. Which was nice. He's a good kid.
Mostly.


Then, we took Dollface for her glasses. She failed her eye screening. She is definitely nearsighted. So she's got some cute purple frames, and they'll be in next week.

I out-geeked Bunny's not-boyfriend. He was impressed I owned a Millennium Falcon playset. He was more impressed that I handed him his ass when he asked the definitive geek litmus question: "Kessel Run in 12 parsecs?" I gave him the 1977 "Solo is a braggart testing to see how desperate his passengers are" answer and then breezily dismissed "Shorter more dangerous route" as "EU fanwanking of modern vintage" before he could say anything. I also broke his brain. I think i like this kid.

Our fair entries are pretty much as done as they're getting.


And I offered to edit a couple of anthologies for Torquere Press: one on orgies and one on men in skirts (kilts, etc). I must be insane.
valarltd: (Default)
It's Wednesday. This is nice.

There was a coolness in the air this morning. It will fade as we approach 90, but it was nice not to work up a sweat walking across the quad at 8 AM. It's the first sure sign that Summer's on the wane, and we're approaching Still Summer. (We have 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Rainy/Icy Muck)

I got the broken shutters off my house yesterday, because it's the first day in ages where I didn't want to faint the moment I stepped out of air-conditioned house or air-conditioned car.

The kids did their t-shirts yesterday, and Obi painted what he calls his Pagan Sneakers: Sun on one toe, Crescent Moon on the other, Fire on one heel, Water on the other. His own design. I'm just trying to salvage what we can for Mid South Fair. Time is limited, money is limited.

They're all decorating cakes, and Jonner wants to bake biscuits.

Jonner had a bad day Sunday. He wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one sort and another. He was destructive (I had to repair the futon) and stole $10 from his dad's wallet. He hasn't yet learned we know EXACTLY how much is in our wallets at any given time. He was sent to bed early with a stern talk from Dad.

Dollface had to draw 3 things that start with M as her homework. She drew a Mommy Monster eating Mice. Normal children would draw mittens, moons, mice, milk and monkeys. Normal children are boring.

Bun's theater director is new to the area. Bun wore her "For the geek shall inherit the earth" tee yesterday. The director chickled, shook her head and said "I worry about you. I really do." Then she figured out we're all crazy.


I got the Harrison Ford Slobber song finished, but I can't seem to render it. It's saved as a WMM file, but I can't get it to .wmv because it keeps crashing. Got the small version saved tho'. Luke and Roy, juxtaposed. Interesting tastes in blonds. Did not, however, use Working Girl, although Six Days, Seven Nights made it in (Angelica, not the blonde)

That gives me 2 for Z-con. Mudd is working on "Windmills of your mind" as a River-focus Firefly vid. Obi did up Mr. "Roboto." Bun has "Still Rock and Roll to Me" going as a Han/Luke slash vid. (it's working) 3/5 are Star Wars, and one has SW content. Maybe I need to make a quick Brimstone watch and get "Man in the Long Black Coat" out? Or get going with that "Crystal Cave" vid for Zoe and "Who I am" for Mal?

lyrics for Crystal Cave )

Did I mention Bun's wanting a guitar? And lessons?
Maybe for her birthday, with lessons over the summer.

Need to make a couple hats this afternoon for the fair.
But first, there are clothes to be dropped at the Gay & Lesbian Center (after 6), bills to pay and maybe some lunch.

Mudd's thinking about joining the PFlag Chess team for the Memphis Gaymes in Oct. And this weekend is the Cooper-Young Street Festival.

My database class is in 1/2 an hour. I'm out of it on sinus meds, and feeling no pain.
valarltd: (Default)
We cleaned rooms. Dollface's will be in good shape when her sheets come out of the drier. The boys have a ways to go.

I washed 3 loads of laundry, so far and 2 loads of dishes. We had spaghetti for dinner, and I need to go buy t-shirts, sneakers and candy molds, plus some fimo clay.

I've laid down about 40 seconds of the Harrison Ford Slobber Song. And I cut The Conversation to my liking so I can use it for the next verse. Martin Stett is gay like a big gay thing, from his homemade Christmas cookies (they're good) to buying Caul a drink, to his too-fashionable tie and stacked Cuban heels on his highlty polished brown boots. The lovers' quarrel with Duvall is exactly that: him trying to break up the director's marriage.

Who forgot to tell me Witness is slash-fest? Daniel Hochleitner is SO totally checking out Book at every opportunity, includng one clip of scoping his ass.

This is going to be a fun vid. I only have to get the redheads (Conversation) and the grey and balding covered. Two choruses are done, and the last one is Luke, which I could vid in my sleep.

No writing. A nap helped me feel better, but I sleep on my side and my ears are getting infected now.
valarltd: (Default)
So, we made church again this morning.
And Dollface got The Bob Bag #1, so we have to go for early service next week, as it is her responsibility to find and item and put it in the bag. Pastor Bob will make his children's sermon around her item.

Our church is #3 on the shelter list. First Baptist is full. Marion First Baptist is almost full. We're expecting people Tuesdayish.

Did not respond to the call for the GLBT community to go volunteer at the Red Cross. I'm miserable and possibly contagious. Talking is not an option.

So, finish a couple more blankets tonight and run them over.

It's Friday

Sep. 2nd, 2005 03:34 pm
valarltd: (Default)
Today, I sent out 5 ILL requests.

Today, I read the Database Design Lesson.

Today, I processed a dozen periodicals.

Today, my copy of Demon Under Glass came and I squeed.

Today, Obi made me cry, and I made a preacher and a church secretary cry with the story. He gave up his favorite blanket, one I'd made him, for hurricane relief.

Today, an MBA and his wife got emergency food stamps, a couple of apartment referrals and a lead on jobs for them.

Tonight, an extended family of thirty people will sleep under a roof, with a real meal and fresh water for the first time in five days. They will be able to enroll the kids and grandkids in school, get clean clothes and have showers. They will be able to find housing and work.

Tonight, fifteen people will sleep under blankets they didn't have yesterday.

Tonight, some kids will get a bedtime story, some grown-ups will play cards to pass the time, some older kids will play chinese checkers, some little girls will cuddle new dolls.

Tonight, some folks will be able to clean up well for the first time in days.

Tonight, there will be macaroni and cheese, 15 bean soup, split pea soup and rice going into 250 hungry folks.


I've had a busy day.
valarltd: (Default)
I got caught in a convoy of about 10 Arkansas National Guard jeeps, Medic units, tonight. They were headed for Louisiana to help with the aftermath. (Doesn't sound like much, but it's all my town has) Last night, at the gas station, I encountered some tree-trimmers also heading down.

I know MLGW is sending people. I suspect KCPL will as well. (My sister's father-in-law will probably go)

We had power outages here in Memphis. Rhodes College had to cancel classes. Trees were down all over my commute route, but not nearly as many as that one July.


A lot of the refugees who came up here, are going ahead and registering their kids for school. They eem to understand they wonm't be getting home any time soon.
valarltd: (Default)
Third class of the semester. I think I get it. I understand what entities are, and I learned crow's foot notation today.

Then the outskirts of Katrina sideswiped us, and we have wind out of the north and east, and more rain than we've seen since March.

I found gas at 2.47 and tanked the Mommymobile.

The kids had auditions for Tom Sawyer tonight. Dollface is very excited to be in a play. It's early, because they're doing A Christmas Carol in December. They're also doing "Lily's Purple Plastic Purse' and "Hamlet" as touring shows. Bunny may have her eye on Gertrude. She'd do it well, in the best Glen Close style, complete with knee-length braids.

It was a good night for spaghetti. We don't much like Barilla pasta sauce. It's thin and chunky. Dollface took seconds. I think we're looking at growth spurt.

I re-read "Inconveniences." To quote Amadeus: "Too many notes." There are simply too many words. [livejournal.com profile] jkb, you've got your work cut out for you. There's a 50 page story in there that's struggling to get out.
valarltd: (Default)
So today I took my first Database Design class. I am so in over my head.
Doesn't help I can hear one word in every ten that Dr. Brandon says. He's very soft spoken.

Here's hoping the textbook will clear some of it up.

I think I have a schedule at work: ILL and such in the morning, misc work at night. I find myself taking a 30 minute nap in the afternoons to keep going.

I got about half a page written on Emeralds for Torquere.
And I'm starting to think about my November Novel.

Also, rounded up the usual suspects fair entries. Bun may get her MidSouth Con costume in time for the MidSouth Fair.
valarltd: (Default)
Somehow 3/4 of a mile when you're actually going somewhere feels a lot shorter than 1/2 a mile on a treadmill. My natural pace is 3 mph. No wonder 3.5 makes me breathe hard and 4 makes me feel like I'm dying.

It wasn't a bad morning for walking, a little hot on the return trip from school.

We watched Shindig. Mudd has really taken to Firefly, in a way he didn't last time around.

And, we finally have proof positive what causes lesbianism: The Boston Women's Health Collective.
Every girl in my daughter's gay youth group was given a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves around the age of 11. They all decided, since it is the only common element in their upbringings, that it carries Teh Dykeness impregnated in its pages, and springs it on unsuspecting purchasers.

A busy day

Aug. 21st, 2005 02:21 am
valarltd: (Default)
We got up fairly early.

We had a double bed due for pick up by freecyclers. We helped a young man and his friend who are just starting out. Cute boys.

Then I had to make a decision. It was 108 degrees at 6 PM, 115 with heat index. An outdoor ritual would be death.
I went to the Academic Reception at work and then Mudd took me out for dinner.
Yellow Tail Chardonney is quite good. The Shiraz is not my favorite.

Had a cognitive dissonance moment in BookStar. On one side of the aisle How Homosexuals Saved Civilization. On the other Liberalism as a Mental Disorder.


Did some laundry
Watched Young Frankenstein with Mel Brooks commentary. It's not really hilarious, but has its moments. The movie is gorgeous. Gene Wilder was MADE to be filmed in B&W. And he and Terri Garr have fabulous chemistry.

It's over

Aug. 19th, 2005 09:19 am
valarltd: (zoo)
Babyhood is 100% over in Chez Mudd.

Today, Dollface walked into her kindergarten classroom, met her teacher, hung her backpack in her cubby and found her desk. Fortunately, her hair has mostly grown back after the Gum Incident.

Jonner's 2nd grade teacher is going to be fine. She'd even read his IEP. I did tell her he'd be having tubes later in the fall.

Obi, alas, got Bun's old 5th grade teacher. And as a double curse, his least favorite bully in the whole world is in his class too. We can only hope Ms. C doesn't transfer her dislike of Bun to Obi. But it doesn't look good.

Bunny was off to 8th grade, and spent half the car-ride trying to remember her locker combo.


They're all launched! ::happy dances::

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