Open letter

[valarltd]

Dear Principal:

Thank you for all your help on the Bun Situation. Thank you for the talking to teachers and the safe space in the counselor's office.

But you know what? Fuck you for being offended she's out.
I know you want the kids to concentrate on academics. But you know what? Their hormones are percolating. They're talking boyfriends and dates and heterocentric TV shows.

She's not flirting with girls.
She's not kissing girls on your time.
She's not doing anything except exactly what she was before she answered one question.

Get over yourself.

Oh, and fuck you on the religion front too. If you have a problem with her being a witch (and I know she doesn't talk about that) how are you going to cope when you get the Muslim boy next year?

There are days I wish she really could turn her tormentors into toads. I think it'd be a revelation.

And fuck you again for getting offended when I quoted Corin Faw about the South: "Where they drag us behind their pick-ups for being queer, when they don't just stone us for being witches." Hit a bit too close to home, did it?

No love, and minimal gratitude,
The Activist Dyke Mom.

Comments

[hlglne.livejournal.com]

You are a good mom, you know that?

I had to remind my boy today that if he doesn't like his special needs tutor, we can fire him.

He's thinking it over.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I feel like the entitlement moo going in for her Unique Precious Snowflake, because the other kiddies are being Meeeeeeeeeeeeeaannnnnn.

But in this case, it actually is life or death.

And I have a helluva a lot of anger right now.

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

You're a good mom. And I don't think you're doing the Beautiful and Unique Snowflake Entitlement Dance, for what it's worth. You're not standing up for your child's right to throw glitter around the hallways because she's So Creative, you're standing up for your child's right to not be persecuted for telling the truth regarding some fundamental aspects of her person. It's hardly the same thing.

[idadebeautreux.livejournal.com]

Agreed. There's a difference between mooing, "I want X because she's my chyyyyyuuuuuuld!" and working to protect her basic civil rights that she should be guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

His point was those aspects shouldn't even be discussed for any of the kids. Because they are still children.

[silver89kitten.livejournal.com]

You really are a great mom. -cuddles and wishes she could call you her own- :D

You kind of remind me of my mom, the way she used to defend me when kids would actually come to my house to try and provoke me. ...Except, you know, not drunk... and (I'm just assuming here!) not walking around all day in a tank-top and granny-panties. And, (again, i'm just assuming) without a diaper on your head, for shits and giggles.

[kadath.livejournal.com]

Kids are cruel fucks, and it's worse when the school administration's against you. My only problem in not fitting in is that I was awkward, and it still contributed to me being in counseling a decade later. Keep going to bat for Bun!

[vision-of-time.livejournal.com]

Good for her for being out, and good for both you and her for not taking any crap from the administration. I know how rough it can be. I took a lot of flack from my closest friends when I came out to them, I can't imagine the administration getting involved. Stay strong, and I hope everything works out.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

She's taken the flack from her friends. The admin isn't giving her any, but I git the definite impression, he feels like she deserves the flack for being open.

[captain-ireland.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you've already answered this, but did you actually give that letter to the principle? Because I think you should. That would be amazing. I know if my kid came out I would do it. I hate school officials more and more these days and I think they all need to get what they deserve. I wish I were a witch and could turn them into large pieces of poo. Because that's exactly what they are.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I won't. Because he is being helpful in every way he can.

I just get the feeling he's praying for my kid to become a straight Christian, because she's so pretty and so smart and could make such wonderful babies for the army of God.

[socalledsuicide.livejournal.com]

Please say you're actually sending this to the jerk!
He needs to hear it.


You're an awesome mom.
Have a great day!

[djinanna.livejournal.com]

*big huge hugs*

[jlm121.livejournal.com]

You are not an enchanted snowflake mom, you are one that has been extremely supportive of Bun in a situation that lots of parents would have no clue how to deal with. Unfortunately you do live in a part of the world where tolerance and acceptance are not exactly buzz words, and I suspect your principle is in the "it's just a stage/phase/you have no clue what it means" mindset and thinks she'll come around to the generic girls+boys way of thinking.
the next few years are not going to be easy, but Bun is strong and beautiful and will survive high school. And I think you will too.
Course then there is Obi, Jonner and Dollface to worry about.. .Yeah that ought to keep you up nights

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Yep, I can always count on my little sister for the right words to make a glum situation hopless.

8)

We'll be fine

[crazypgncatlady.livejournal.com]

Hi there. My name is Randi, and I came over to your journal from the queer_rage community. First of all, I'd like to tell you that you are an amazing mother, and I wish that my mother would have been as supportive of me. In my last school, all of my classmates knew that I was bisexual and Pagan because a girl who I dated ended up being very abusive, and when I left her after a year because of this, she gossiped about me to all of her friends. I was harassed on a daily basis, and a few older boys from the senior high school went as far as to follow me when I was walking to my friend's house and try to hurt me; my friend had to came and chased them off, or else I don't know what could have happened to me. I told the dean of students and the guidance counselors at my school, and neither of them ever did anything about it. If your daughter ever wants somebody to talk to, she can feel free to contact me. My email address is ladykelta (at) msn (dot) com, and I have MSN messenger.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Randi.

When she gets out of the hospital, I'll pass the word along.

The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

You are undeniably an excellent mother, and wonderfully/deservedly supportive of your daughter, however... (donning the armor plate and hefting a large shield before continuing): "I do hold to the opinion of choosing your battles and not needlessly making yourself a target in what you should know is going to be a hostile environment, especially at this tender age when any difference can be grossly magnified to (wrongly) justify character assassination and/or physical assault by the ruling majority of (supposedly 'normal') peers. I question Bun's wisdom in choosing to go public, especially livin' down in that thar part of this here country y'all is in now... Which aint rightly ever been known for its great tolerance of anythin' out of the Bible-thumpin' ordinary. I have lived (and continue to live) a double life with my own kinks, and while it would be nice to be open and widely accepted, knowing that I will not be has kept my very much underground... But safe. I am certainly no coward, but I don't see the wisdom of making a bold stand upon a one-sided battlefield I can avoid--where I know I am going to be out-numbered and out-gunned, plus likely let down by those who are (officially) supposed to be impartial and protective of us non-conformists. I seek out my own kind, I keep up false appearances, we keep to the shadows with our unorthodox activities, and we survive."

Re: The D-Man checks in

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

1) She didn't "take a bold stand." She simply answered a question from someone whe thought was a friend.

2) When the "friend" proceeded to spread the information all over school, there was nothing to do but stand tall.