valarltd: (bunnies)
[personal profile] valarltd
Which of the following openings appeals more:


Once upon a time, there was a big bad wolf.

Yeah, that’d be me: Paul, mid 30s, architect,
Wisconsinite, list-dad, werewolf. Big bad wolf. In
the deep dark forest of suburbia. Your worst
nightmare. Or not.


or


They always said I wouldn’t never amount to much. Pa
said it. Ma said it. James said it. And Jake always
said it. Then again, everyone always said the earth
was flat until Columbus tried to get to India the hard
way.

It all started with the apples. Ain’t that the way it
always goes? Anyway, Pa was powerful proud of his
apple tree and rightly so. It bore by the bushel
basket and Pa took prizes with the apples and his
apple cider and applejack and Ma took prizes with the
apple butter, apple jelly, apple pies and apple cake.

Date: 2005-12-22 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellabel.livejournal.com
I like the second one...

Opening

Date: 2005-12-22 08:25 pm (UTC)
ext_2410: (Naughty Boy)
From: [identity profile] kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com
I like the first.

Date: 2005-12-22 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] creatorschilde.livejournal.com
depends on what your going for. The first sounds like a true beginning to a nasty porn. The second sounds like - well - a novella of some sorts, not sure Id read it, but - its definitely interesting.

are you online and hiding today, dear friend? I was going to give you my address... and talk to you about our darling Nicko-chan... *giggles*

Date: 2005-12-23 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com
Had a quiet day at work, so i did some posting. No AIM until I got home.

Date: 2005-12-22 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonpurr.livejournal.com
I like the first one...

Date: 2005-12-23 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
I like the first one better. I don't like the "voice" of the second one - sounds too "hick" for my tastes.

The D-Man checks in

Date: 2005-12-23 08:43 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
The first one. The second sounds just too... Backwoods, poor-white-trash, redneck. Don't think I could stomach that voice bumbling through a narrative story for more than a few pages, regardless of where it might promise to go. Just can't relate.

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