Heartbroken

[valarltd]

I'm having a Debbie moment.

My Extra Kid got kicked out of his parents house.
What kind of parent throws their barely 18, non-self-supporting, carless, not-yet-out-of-high-school child out of the house over movies!

He rented Monster with Charlize Theron and watched it privately. The Gay Quotient of the film finally tipped the balance over, and his father gave him the boot. He has until the weekend. They know he's gay and have been working on him. The only thing they haven't done is sent him to Love in Action.

He has a place to stay, and he knows my futon is always there too.

But I just want to shake his folks. They have a brilliant, funny, wonderful boy and all they see is a hell-bound faggot.

Comments

The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

A whole lot more than movies did this kid in; the movie was just apparently the last straw. Bottom line is: Not everyone believes in unconditional love. If he wants to be a rebel and be independent so bad--be true to himself--he got his wish. Now he's jobless, homeless, and pennyless. Rebellion has its price. Staying at mommy & daddy's house is not a right; it's a privilege. The kid must have had some notion of what would happen if he crossed the line. This did not just happen; it must have been brewing and boiling now for some time. Everyone who wants to freeload off mom & dad at that age needs to be prepared to sacrifice for the ride. All is not lost though. If he's healthy & fit--don't ask, don't tell--the military is always hiring.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

1) He's not a rebel. He's done his very best to do exactly as his parents want. BUT he cannot be straight for them anymore than he could be white.

2) Of course it was an excuse. They've been looking for one since he turned 18.

3) Living in your parents' house IS a right, at least until you're out of High School.

4) DADT does NOT apply. 5 words out of this kid and you know he's gay.

5) It's a piss-poor Christian witness to throw your own kid out of the house over who he is. That's like saying "God hates you because you have blue eyes. See, right here, Leah had blue eyes and was unloveable, and so are you!" Missed a great chance to play "love the sinner hate the sin" there, rev. (Since he's not active, much to his eternal lament, he still falls under "not actively sinning.")

Re: The D-Man checks in

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

And, BTW, that's funny coming from someone who lived at home until 23...

Re: The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

I lived at home until I was 23 because it was comfortable and I was made to understand that is was a privilege and not a right to reside in my parents' home once I was legally an adult, and that if I expected to live there I too would have to stay in the closet with a number of mym own... Kinks. If keeping my creature comforts meant playing the dutiful son & good boy... Then so be it. If I openly and willfully did something to rebel and embarass my parents, I also would have found myself homeless in quick order. Unlike this kid however, I was a member of the work force since I was 15 years old (special waiver), at my partents' insistance. Soon as I was out of college I was in the military, out on my own, and free to be me... Barring UCMJ regulations, of course--which were a lot easier to dodge than constant parental scrutiny. This kid brought his doom down upon himself by his own choices. Sometimes you just have to make yourself fit a certain mold if you want to fit in & get along. It ain't necessarily right, but it is a fact of life.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[ruckuskitten.livejournal.com]

Look, I don't know you and I hate starting or getting involved in arguments online, but living in your parents isn't legally a right, but it's an implied right until you're out of high school, like valarltd said. And the military is a terrible place for most people and isn't an automatic solution for life's problems. I'm glad Angel's looking out for him.

Try to have some understanding.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

Living in your parent's house is an implied right? Implied by whom? I never had such implied security. I know of no 18+ year old who did nor does, save for those who are so hideously co-depentant on each other they shall never move out. If you want to live someplace after you are legally of age, you have to expect to have certain standards you must meet to stay there, wherever it is. Never said the military was an automatic solution for life's problems; just an option here. I am also pleased Angel is looking of for this kid, but I do understand where his parents are coming from too. You want to live under my roof? You do so under my rules. You don't like it... Leave. This kid made his choice.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

More to the point... Before we all judge this kid's parents too harshly, take a personal head-count: How many people do you hang out with who routinely embarrass you, and how many adults do you invite to stay under your roof who disrespect and disrupt your core values & beliefs? Unconditional love is apparently not a core value in this family (something I am personally familiar with), and even if it were, just because you are blood does not give you the right to insult people and expect them to do nothing about it. As stated earlier, this did not just happen. This has been brewing & boiling in this family for a long time--the latest, and now last, in likely a long line of running disputes--and enough was finally enough.

As for hating the sin but loving the sinner... It is rather difficult to love the sinner when they keep on sinning, especially for the hard-core religious. Homosexuality is just not something these people are prepared to accept nor even tolerate. Their house; their rules. Sounds to me like everyone is so busy feeling sorry for this kid that nobody is holding him accountable nor responsible for his choices.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Since he is not sexually active, there is no choice to hold him accountable for.

Re: The D-Man checks in

[(Anonymous)]

I disagree. Being a gay male entails a great deal many more choices than merely choosing to take the dirt road home, just as being a straight male in our society entails choices: How you talk, how you dress, how you walk, how you socalize, how you behave, how you entertain yourself... Many of which might embarrass your straight-laced parents--who decide whether or not you live under their roof once you are an adult. Many of which might get you beat up or killed if you dare cross certain people in certain settings.