I am wiped

[valarltd]

I tried to break my wrist today by dropping a car door on it. It's bruised and achy but I'm okay.
At least freight was low today.

So now, I wear 2 elbow braces and a wrist brace... Can we cut to the chase and just give me an exoskeleton?

And I'm editing on "Showdown at Yellowstone River." It's going quite nicely.

Next time I get a beta reader who understands the idea of limited third person POV. And also that passive verbs suck.
This:

He gulped the end of his drink and got up to hurry over to the entrance, intercepting her just as she laid a tentative hand on the saloon doors to maybe enter--if her courage to dare risk a scandal held.

is NOT a good replacement for this:

He gulped the end of his drink and hurried out just as she laid a hand on the saloon doors to enter.


Beta has some valid points and they've been incorporated, but those...

And Mom hit the biggest problem of all. Lack of adequate villain motivation. She also filled me in on Homesteading stuff, since her grandfather and his brothers were.
7 pgs out of 43 done.
All must be done before May 1.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Whoa. Seriously? Your beta reader really suggested that? Even little ordinary me can do better than that. Where do you get your beta readers/ is it possible for nonwriter me to be a beta reader for you?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

The person in question is an old friend, and I know his weaknesses (verbosity, redundancy, passive voice). But the advice on plot points was invaluable.

And I'll take all the help I can get. Log in, or leave me your e-mail and I'll send the latest version. It's het, though

[mother2012.livejournal.com]

Um, no. He was right that greater detail was needed, but ... no.