Thoughts

[valarltd]

I think I have gafiated.

I don't read any of the fannish mailing lists. I need to resign as listmom.
I don't read fannish squee in anyone's LJ.
I don't watch source.
I don't vid.
I don't read or write much fic.
I don't want to go to cons anymore, except as a guest.
I don't contribute meta.

And this year, the thought of signing up for yuletide fills me with weariness and dread instead of excitement.

My first thought was "I need November to write Alive on the Inside. I can't sacrifice three pages to yuletide." And I thought of the usual headdesk. And the hassle of writing to spec.


The Den of Debauchery will remain open.
The LJ will stay in place.

and if the fannish squee returns, it will be spread. If it doesn't, ah well.

The really awful part is that I'm not even sad to be leaving fandom. Just kind of...pensive.

Comments

[reannon.livejournal.com]

You're not leaving fandom. Your energies are being redirected elsewhere. I know I'll catch it for this, but I've always felt fanfic and creative fandom was an excellent training ground for creatives, but it cannot be a final destination if you are to continue to grow. It's not that you appreciate others' worlds less, it's just that you have your own worlds to create. Don't feel awful about not feeling awful. You can find other ways to be a fan that still leave your mind and muse free to do the work you're meant to do.

Just my $0.02.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Actually, at the moment, I'm not interested in being a fan at all.

Example: I was excited that Aaron Stanford got his own series, even if it only ran for 8 eps. I tivo'd it, watched two eps and forgot it. (I have two or three of his movies on Tivo, and have watched the first ten minutes of all of them)

I've wanted to see Bubba Ho-Tep since it came out. It's sat on my Tivo since January. I've seen about 15 minutes of it.

We even missed the last Harry Potter movie in the theaters.

No interest in source is the most damning thing on the list. It's what makes the difference between taking a break and leaving.