Whee, i'm a vindictive bitch!
Nov. 25th, 2006 09:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdSo, the Believer, Un-believer and Ex-believer forum ran a poll on whether it was a man's world.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/FreeThinkers3/messages?msg=7089.1
Someone tried "but women have the real power."
Sure. Women have this "power" over men. Makes no difference how big, bad and strong they are, if a man pisses off a woman....the next time he 'wants some', she "remembers", and says NO!
The woman can make a little man beg and a big man cry.....where in a man, that particular "switch" is always in the "on" position, the woman's switch doesn't seem to ever be broke......it can be turned "off" at any time.....or turned back on, if she feels like it.
My response was: "Then he simply takes what he wants. And learns that her NO! is a weak word next to his strength. So, her power is a sham, granted only by the men who deign to consider her NO worthy of notice."
The prompt response was:
That sort of person is not a man.....that's an animal. Animals are treated differently.
A REAL man would understand "no" means no, and will usually slink off and sulk over his rejection...wondering how he can win back the "favor" of his woman.
Most men are not animals. I take it that you had an unfortunate experience with one of those animal types?
So here we have not only the No True Scotsman (no real man rapes, only animals do), and the immediate ad hominem of throwing it back on me.
But I took the bait.
Actually, they are men. I don't believe in letting anyone off the hook on this. Calling them animals dehumanizes them, and this is a very, very human occurance.
I had my "unfortunate experience" (such a nice term for a complete violation of my body, soul and sexual self-image!).
My mother had hers.
My sister had hers.
My daughter had hers.
My girlfriend had several.
Every girl my husband ever dated had hers.
My dispatcher had hers.
My human resources manager and her daughter had theirs.
The FMLA specialist and her daughter had theirs.
My cowriter had several.
When someone on Livejournal started a "No Pity, No shame, No Silence" meme, I was horrified, but unsurprised, when the vast majority of my friends-list took it up. These are women I've met through fandom, through professional writing, through other friends. They live all over the world, are mostly well educated, and have all been raped or molested.
In my experience 75-80% of women are raped or sexually molested by men during their lives. That means a HELL of a lot of men don't listen to that No which you seem to think is so potent.
If you think the average man won't, go read some of the testimonies from Bosnia. All that's ever needed is the flimsiest excuse.
Now, here comes the good part:
Gee, sometime you'll have to sit down and tell me what you really think about this matter.
You give a whole new meaning to the word 'vindictive', don't you?
Are there any women you know that haven't been raped, abused, molested, taken advantage of, by some one of the opposite sex?
If so, what are they, nuns?
(emphasis mine)
Note the way that a list of those wounded by rape immediately becomes vindictiveness. And the implicit questioning of my truthfulness.
(I did say "No, the nun was raped too. By a priest when she was 11.")
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ginmar is right!
ETA: Now, he's surprised I am not chewing my own leg off in a fit of rage, and he wouldn't take me to a dogfight, even if he knew I'd win...
http://forums.delphiforums.com/FreeThinkers3/messages?msg=7089.1
Someone tried "but women have the real power."
Sure. Women have this "power" over men. Makes no difference how big, bad and strong they are, if a man pisses off a woman....the next time he 'wants some', she "remembers", and says NO!
The woman can make a little man beg and a big man cry.....where in a man, that particular "switch" is always in the "on" position, the woman's switch doesn't seem to ever be broke......it can be turned "off" at any time.....or turned back on, if she feels like it.
My response was: "Then he simply takes what he wants. And learns that her NO! is a weak word next to his strength. So, her power is a sham, granted only by the men who deign to consider her NO worthy of notice."
The prompt response was:
That sort of person is not a man.....that's an animal. Animals are treated differently.
A REAL man would understand "no" means no, and will usually slink off and sulk over his rejection...wondering how he can win back the "favor" of his woman.
Most men are not animals. I take it that you had an unfortunate experience with one of those animal types?
So here we have not only the No True Scotsman (no real man rapes, only animals do), and the immediate ad hominem of throwing it back on me.
But I took the bait.
Actually, they are men. I don't believe in letting anyone off the hook on this. Calling them animals dehumanizes them, and this is a very, very human occurance.
I had my "unfortunate experience" (such a nice term for a complete violation of my body, soul and sexual self-image!).
My mother had hers.
My sister had hers.
My daughter had hers.
My girlfriend had several.
Every girl my husband ever dated had hers.
My dispatcher had hers.
My human resources manager and her daughter had theirs.
The FMLA specialist and her daughter had theirs.
My cowriter had several.
When someone on Livejournal started a "No Pity, No shame, No Silence" meme, I was horrified, but unsurprised, when the vast majority of my friends-list took it up. These are women I've met through fandom, through professional writing, through other friends. They live all over the world, are mostly well educated, and have all been raped or molested.
In my experience 75-80% of women are raped or sexually molested by men during their lives. That means a HELL of a lot of men don't listen to that No which you seem to think is so potent.
If you think the average man won't, go read some of the testimonies from Bosnia. All that's ever needed is the flimsiest excuse.
Now, here comes the good part:
Gee, sometime you'll have to sit down and tell me what you really think about this matter.
You give a whole new meaning to the word 'vindictive', don't you?
Are there any women you know that haven't been raped, abused, molested, taken advantage of, by some one of the opposite sex?
If so, what are they, nuns?
(emphasis mine)
Note the way that a list of those wounded by rape immediately becomes vindictiveness. And the implicit questioning of my truthfulness.
(I did say "No, the nun was raped too. By a priest when she was 11.")
ginmar is right!ETA: Now, he's surprised I am not chewing my own leg off in a fit of rage, and he wouldn't take me to a dogfight, even if he knew I'd win...
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-26 04:25 am (UTC)But then came
Not all men are cads, but, unfortunately, there are too many of the other kind out there.
BTW...the guy who attacked me was my "friend's" little brother. He was 2 years younger than me and I thought he was "safe" and I let my guard down. *sigh*