Pirate'gasm!

[valarltd]

So we went and paid homage to our fictional ancestor.

Obi gave it a 9 out of 10. 10/10 on the gross-out scale and 10 on violence, all the stuff that is really important to 11 year old boys.

Bun, after squeeing endlessly over the hoo-yay has locked herself in her room with her poster of Jack Sparrow. Pay no attention to any noises...


And I am picking apart the merits of Indiana Jones vs. Cthulhu as interpreted by Errol Flynn and Ray Harryhausen.

I went in primed for the race issue. I don't see it. The tribemen were Meso-american Indians, not black. And although dakiwiboid says Caribs weren't cannibals, my research claims they were. They looked like the Hovitos in Raiders of the Lost Ark, right down to the blow-pipes and chase sequence down to the beach.

And Tia Dalma was amazing. Very much a Marie Leveau prototype. Someone has mentioned a craving for the story where she takes young Jack's virginity, teaches him to wear make-up and dreads his hair. I would add "does his tattoo" as well.

The funeral felt very right. The bayou folk wer all black. My mind was that they were escaped slaves, who found themselves there. And out in the water (which looks amazingly like the ride) with the candles in honor of a man whose sea legs were so intense he could barely walk on land.

The rest...oh wow.

Bootstrap Bill, all barnacles and snails and starfish and coral. "Full fathom five my father lies/those are pearls that were his eyes..."

Will, pretty, clueless, and oh my, stripped and beaten. It lost some eroticism with it being his dad doing it, but oh yeah!

And Elizabeth. I want her to keep those letters of marque, take on a crew (Rigatti and Pintel, definitely) and be a privateer. I love her negotiations and the way she can give orders and double entendres.

Her father, stripped of his wig and office and in irons. Jonathan Pryce amazes me, every time.

And Jack is SO in love with his ship. Davy Jones raised her from the sea for him. He came back when she was in peril. And he went down with her. Ahhhhhh. Jack/Pearl=OTP.

Jack's still making eunuch jokes about Will. I love that he felt it necessary to specify Will was in love with a girl.

Other bits that left me swoony:
Indy Jack running from the indians yelling start the plane "Cast off!"

Jack blowing on the fire that's about to cook him. Yeah, worked real well for Han when it was ewoks...

Kraken=sarlacc? Both seem to be giant fanged vaginas with tentacles. Thought krakens had beaks.

Will doing the Flynn-style sail-slide with his knife. *SQUEE*

And the human hamster ball cage!

And the 3 way duel! up the stairs, onto the wall, onto the roof, onto the hamster water wheel. My little swashbuckling heart was just in raptures.

Davy Jones's crew was amazing. And Jones himself was suitable too.

And Norrington... *le sigh* So much hotter this time through.

Now I want to dig out all my old Sinbad movies for a rewatch, and another round of Captain Blood!

Bigest gripe:
The East India Company was DUTCH. And it was the Dutch West Indies Company that operated in the Carribean.

I've done too much research for my own stuff and I swear I spent half the movie trying to figure out the ships...


And now it's going to drive me crazy until I figure out where else I've seen out hero leap down a monster's gullet, sword in hand.

ETA: It's The Vikings, with Kirk Douglas. I shoulda remembered because that was about the point I ran the sewing machine needle through my finger.

Ahhh, I need a cigarette, or a couple pirates in my bed.

Comments

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

SPFX crew shouldn't have anythign to do with the script part. FX are added in post-production.

Nah, I think it's just too much afternoon cinema on everyone's part.

(I mean Skywalker Sound did the work on Jarhead, and no one is making comparisons there)