valarltd | Death and Resurrection in a galaxy Far Far Away: How Star Wars Mocks the Truth of Christianity

This is another for

fanthropology's Fake Paranoia Rants. I will personally hunt you down and kick your ass if I find you using this to make a SERIOUS argument.

Death and Resurrection in a Galaxy Far Far Away: How Star Wars Mocks the Truth of Christianity

In the Sodomitic wet dream of George Lucas, death is never permanent. In this I will consider three deaths: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker and most wicked of all, Han Solo.

In all three cases, the characters die, but are revived.

In the first, Obi-Wan is cut down in a noble act of self-sacrifice to allow his companions time to escape. Yet, his voice is heard repeatedly after his death, giving credence to the lie that ghosts are the disembodied spirits of humans instead of the demons they truly are.

Later in the movies, Obi-Wan himself re-appears in glowing blue ghost form. This consolidates the earlier lie. Coupled with the statement at the end of Revenge of the Sith that his lover Qui-Gon has learned to return from the "Force" as well, it is interesting to note how smug and satisfied Obi-Wan looks. This implies there is sex, especially perverse sodomitic fornication, after death in direct contradiction of Jesus' words "They shall be like the angels, bneither marrying nor given in marriage."

In the second, based on the real sequel Splinter of the Mind's Eye, which was never filmed for the sake of its violence, incest and purely bizarre content, Luke Skywalker dies with a large gem in his hands. He is enveloped in an eerie red glow, and comes back to life. He then uses this gem, creating the glow again which covers him to his elbows, and proceedes to molest his sister--paying special attention to fondling her breasts--who has been badly burned and killed in a lightsaber duel. After this revolting display of necrophilia, he uses the glow above her head and heart to bring her back to life.

This scene is a deliberate mockery of both the resurrection of Lazarus and the revival of Jared's daughter. In the first, Lazarus after death is "clothed and in his right mind." Luke is patently quite mad after his revival, burning with a sinful lust for both his sister and later, his father as the filmed sequence in The Empire Strikes Back shows. In the second, Paul revives the girl by taking her hand. There is no need to stroke between her breasts, across her belly (commonly used as a synonym for the female genitalia in the Song of Songs) and along her face as Luke does to his sister.

Lastly after all of this, we are subject to the most revolting mockery of Our Lord's Crucifixion and Resurrection in the person of the unrepentant desperado and sodomite Han Solo.

During The Empire Strikes Back, he flees with the Princess to a city in the clouds, obviously the City of Heaven, which Jerusalem herself will become at the end of time. They are greeted warmly by the ruler of the city (here one of the sons of Ham, more blasphemy since Jerusalem was for the sons of Shem only) and paraded through its streets and given the best of everything. The only thing this display lacks is palm branches and crowds shouting hosannas.

Later, the ruler turns out to be Judas, selling Han and the Princess to Vader, whose very armor resembles the twelve-stone ceremonial breastplate of the Aaronic priesthood. Solo is then tortured on a futuristic device. We do not see all it does, but we hear his screams.

After this symbolic scourging, he is stripped of the jacket and vest he has worn throughout the movies, the things that give him his identity apart from the others. Thankfully we do not see the stormtroopers playing dice for these. That, at least, we were spared, more likely by oversight than any design.

To compound the blasphmy, we are told Han will be dying so the Luke does not have to. This substitution of the more experienced and jaded pervert for his catamite (and their perverse relationship has been demonstrated by the earlier essay) is in direct mockery of God's Pure and Spotless Lamb that Takes Away the Sins of the World in subtitutiary atonement.

Even a last despairing cry from the princess cannot wring a repentant word from this thief. He goes to his death with a quip on his tongue and a sneer on his face. His body is given to Boba Fett, a Simon of Cyrene style man of mystery. We know nothing of Fett, save his name, just as we know nothing of Simon.

In the next movie, the princess risks capture to revive him. This is not presented as a miracle, but rather as pure technology. Once he is "thawed," Solo is sick and blind, unlike Our Lord who was hale and appeared in a blinding flash of light. She again declares her love for him, being the Mary Magadalene stand-in: a woman who has sinned with her own brother, but is willing to repent for love. But alas, her beloved has feet of clay. Once his catamite, Sywalker, reappears, he ignores the princess. Jesus never ignored the women before or after his resurrection.

Thus we see that through subtle usages, and some blatent imagery, Lucas is bound to pervert and mock the Passion of our Lord, re[placing it with unnatural passions and men who burn toward one another.