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Oct. 22nd, 2003 03:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdThis is a hoot
Especially since I've done most of those at one time or another.
But this: Star Wars>
Public Humiliation: 82.1%
Before the lame-ass new Star Wars movies, we might have let it go if we saw a Lando Calrissian or an Ewok waiting in line for a movie. Not anymore. Anyone disguised as a Jedi in this day and age had better have been helped into that costume by a caregiver assigned by the state to assist their special needs. Related Trivia Fact: Admiral Ackbar is the guy with the fish head from Return of the Jedi that screams things like, “Shorshenblorg borshchortle!”
Damage to Sex Life: 54.6% (Debateable, in my opinion. Depends on your costume, your face and your attitude. Can range from "no way in the nine Sith Hells!" to "can have any woman he wants." My luck tends more to the former)
Dressing like Darth Vader creates a number of sexual obstacles. First you have to find someone who doesn’t mind dating the dark lord of geeks, (Sith Chicks!) and from this point on the sentence is moot since you won’t, and then they have to safely be able to dig their way through your codpiece of cybernetic space enhancements. Impossible.
(Not for one skilled in the Slutty Side of the Force)
Plus, the speech that Darth Vader gave to Natalie Portman in Episode II (about how she was so great because she wasn’t like sand) is going to hang over the heads of evil single Jedi for generations.
On the other hand, the strict moral code of the good Jedi prevents them from touching naked women with anything other than a light saber. And that, of course, would kill them.
On the third hand, I have this theory I’ve been meaning to test that jumping into a room naked and screaming like Chewbacca would be super erotic. Keep in mind, however, that my last theory, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if these were like, FLYING condoms?” went largely ignored by the sex community.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Overweight, casually strolling into the center of the room, and then when you least expect it, bursting into a blinding Jedi combat storm with a golf ball retriever.
Especially since I've done most of those at one time or another.
But this: Star Wars>
Public Humiliation: 82.1%
Before the lame-ass new Star Wars movies, we might have let it go if we saw a Lando Calrissian or an Ewok waiting in line for a movie. Not anymore. Anyone disguised as a Jedi in this day and age had better have been helped into that costume by a caregiver assigned by the state to assist their special needs. Related Trivia Fact: Admiral Ackbar is the guy with the fish head from Return of the Jedi that screams things like, “Shorshenblorg borshchortle!”
Damage to Sex Life: 54.6% (Debateable, in my opinion. Depends on your costume, your face and your attitude. Can range from "no way in the nine Sith Hells!" to "can have any woman he wants." My luck tends more to the former)
Dressing like Darth Vader creates a number of sexual obstacles. First you have to find someone who doesn’t mind dating the dark lord of geeks, (Sith Chicks!) and from this point on the sentence is moot since you won’t, and then they have to safely be able to dig their way through your codpiece of cybernetic space enhancements. Impossible.
(Not for one skilled in the Slutty Side of the Force)
Plus, the speech that Darth Vader gave to Natalie Portman in Episode II (about how she was so great because she wasn’t like sand) is going to hang over the heads of evil single Jedi for generations.
On the other hand, the strict moral code of the good Jedi prevents them from touching naked women with anything other than a light saber. And that, of course, would kill them.
On the third hand, I have this theory I’ve been meaning to test that jumping into a room naked and screaming like Chewbacca would be super erotic. Keep in mind, however, that my last theory, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if these were like, FLYING condoms?” went largely ignored by the sex community.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Overweight, casually strolling into the center of the room, and then when you least expect it, bursting into a blinding Jedi combat storm with a golf ball retriever.
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-22 02:48 pm (UTC)Things I'll admit to...
Role playing: during high school.
CCGs: during college.
Comic Books: Do manga/graphic novels count? If so, then yes. Started in college, up to now.
Star Trek: Duh. Hello, slasher here.
Star Wars: Double duh. Hello, slasher child of the '70s here.
I'm kind of startled that miniatures gaming, fanfiction, and SCA or Renfaire didn't make their top ten, but I'm not sure what I'd move off the list to make room for them... *grin*
This cracks me up: They tend to be unobtrusive, but for every hundred Trekkers polite enough to obsess in their own homes, there’s some bastard singing at the karaoke bar in Klingon and a computer repairman demanding that his coworkers address him by his Starfleet rank. Before you laugh, though, there’s almost assuredly a third one building something that can vaporize your non-Star Trek ass from orbit.
*pictures Trekkie bastard singing in Klingon at the karaoke bar from Angel the Series*
*collapses in a fit of giggles*
no subject
Date: 2003-10-24 12:44 pm (UTC)No furry/plushie stuff, but I do have a drawing of me as a furry. Note: Never trust a Scotsman who draws you as a Barbary sheep.
No online gaming. But all the rest.
I had drunk Trekkies one night when I was waitressing at Denny's. They were nice. Ordered easily, and then sat in the back booth and sang the aria from "Melota" in Klingonese until I brought their food. Tipped well.