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valarltdI've been having a lot of problems lately with my friends.
I make a decision, after much deliberation and they tell me it's wrong.
~~~
Case the first:
I'm burned out on writing. I've been doing this for over a decade, and each book sells worse than the one before. I don't even write. I type by pavlovian reflex. I put on the playlist and let the music get my fingers going. I don't have any new ideas.
So, I'm going to finish four projects:
Mystery of the Monkey God, closing out the Lord Withycombe adventures
The children's series I write under a pseudonym. There are two books at least, possibly four. But they're short, not even novella length, and half written already.
The Eight Thrones cycle. I need to finish edits on Anthony, rewrite Niko-Chan, go over Glad Hands and finish Master Anton. Then we'll see where we go from there. My partner hates a very pivotal figure and most of the plot after his arrival.
the BDSM contemporary novel I'm writing solely to get rights to some cover art.
Yet...
Everyone says that this is bad. That I should do all the other stories on that endless list on the front page first. That "Brain Eaters of Algol 3" won't be a total disaster (why wouldn't it? Every other Cliff Cody story sucked) That vague ideas I noted to avoid losing them should be given valuable house space in lieu of my major projects.
Or that I'm needed for this short and that short and the other anthology. Here, have some distraction.
~~~
Case the Second
There is a part of my identity that I have had for decades. However, while it has brought me minor pleasure on rare occasion, it has caused much more upset, constant pining, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
I have chosen to give this up. I no longer pursue experiences or even fantasize about them. I don't plan to write them except where it cannot be helped. By choosing to no longer desire what I cannot have, I hope to be calmer and more at peace with what I do have.
And yet. I'm chastised for discarding part of my identity. I'm told it will only make me more unhappy to do this. I'm told it's a waste. My reasoning and all is questioned. I'm told I'll never be free and I'll only make myself miserable trying.
~~~
On one hand, I understand they want to make sure I've thought things through and am not doing a knee-jerk, heat of the moment decision. On the other, I'm safe-wording out and being told, "No, you're not red, you're still green. Take some more."
I make a decision, after much deliberation and they tell me it's wrong.
~~~
Case the first:
I'm burned out on writing. I've been doing this for over a decade, and each book sells worse than the one before. I don't even write. I type by pavlovian reflex. I put on the playlist and let the music get my fingers going. I don't have any new ideas.
So, I'm going to finish four projects:
Mystery of the Monkey God, closing out the Lord Withycombe adventures
The children's series I write under a pseudonym. There are two books at least, possibly four. But they're short, not even novella length, and half written already.
The Eight Thrones cycle. I need to finish edits on Anthony, rewrite Niko-Chan, go over Glad Hands and finish Master Anton. Then we'll see where we go from there. My partner hates a very pivotal figure and most of the plot after his arrival.
the BDSM contemporary novel I'm writing solely to get rights to some cover art.
Yet...
Everyone says that this is bad. That I should do all the other stories on that endless list on the front page first. That "Brain Eaters of Algol 3" won't be a total disaster (why wouldn't it? Every other Cliff Cody story sucked) That vague ideas I noted to avoid losing them should be given valuable house space in lieu of my major projects.
Or that I'm needed for this short and that short and the other anthology. Here, have some distraction.
~~~
Case the Second
There is a part of my identity that I have had for decades. However, while it has brought me minor pleasure on rare occasion, it has caused much more upset, constant pining, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
I have chosen to give this up. I no longer pursue experiences or even fantasize about them. I don't plan to write them except where it cannot be helped. By choosing to no longer desire what I cannot have, I hope to be calmer and more at peace with what I do have.
And yet. I'm chastised for discarding part of my identity. I'm told it will only make me more unhappy to do this. I'm told it's a waste. My reasoning and all is questioned. I'm told I'll never be free and I'll only make myself miserable trying.
~~~
On one hand, I understand they want to make sure I've thought things through and am not doing a knee-jerk, heat of the moment decision. On the other, I'm safe-wording out and being told, "No, you're not red, you're still green. Take some more."
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no subject
Date: 2015-08-18 07:38 am (UTC)and I love you for you...no other reason. No judging here!
no subject
Date: 2015-08-18 04:08 pm (UTC)Some people never get to a point where they understand that's not the case.
I'm pretty sure you're an adult who can make your own decisions about what will make you happy and what won't. And if you make a mistake, it's your mistake to make, and to correct. Which, knowing you, you will do once you realize you need to...
So I see no need to try to convince you to do anything other than what you've decided is best for you.