Movie Night
Jun. 14th, 2015 12:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdSo we (Mudd, Jonner and I) watched The Battle of Five Armies.
Both of them looked a little shell-shocked at the end.
My commentary:
Galadriel not only Took a Level in Badass, she moved straight into Let's get Dangerous and Freaking Terrifying. That's our Beautiful and Terrifying as the Morning and the Night loser of the Kinslayer Wars!
Saruman may have fallen right then and there in the battle. I strongly suspect it. Although he did manage some serious fighting, especially for a man in his 90s who still does most of his own stunt work.
The battle mounts were ridiculous, but somehow, they all managed to sell it. Thranduil and his elk were ridiculous, yet majestic. Dain and his boar were ridiculous, yet sensible. And the battle goats, for mountains...make weird sense.
Dwarves are just ridiculous little things anyway. War boar. Stopping fighting in the middle of the battlefield for a family reunion. headbutting their way through helmeted orcs...
Luke Evans put in a stellar turn as Bard. When you're up against a dragon, a wizard, dwarves, a battle elk, child actors and elvish hair, you have to be a strong actor.
The nazgul looked great. The maimed trolls were horrific. The earth eaters had me questioning whether I'd wandered into a Dune remake.
Elves defy the natural law, especially in combat. Legolas and the tower bit was just painful. Tauriel exemplified the Parkour approach of "let me get one toehold and you're dead" And I kept thinking Thranduil was more ticked about the schmutz in his perfect hair than anything else about the battle.
Why did no one think to take out the signal tower?
Also, Balin. I am having mad Balin love. He knows. He knows everything. He knows Bilbo has the Arkenstone. He understands what Bilbo cannot say at the gate (the scene that makes all the Bagginshield shippers wibble about "he was never that to me.")
It was a big, noisy, action-packed mess of a movie that would have benefited from being about thirty minutes shorter.
And it makes me wibble every damn time. Stupid sexy dwarves. I knew the minute I saw the promo poster I was going to get my heart broken.
I mean, he broke my heart when he looked like this:
How could these three not make me ache every time I thought about the end of this movie?
I could hear Bilbo asking the same question as Tauriel. "Why does it hurt so much?"
The answer from Gandalf would have been, "Because it was real."
Both of them looked a little shell-shocked at the end.
My commentary:
Galadriel not only Took a Level in Badass, she moved straight into Let's get Dangerous and Freaking Terrifying. That's our Beautiful and Terrifying as the Morning and the Night loser of the Kinslayer Wars!
Saruman may have fallen right then and there in the battle. I strongly suspect it. Although he did manage some serious fighting, especially for a man in his 90s who still does most of his own stunt work.
The battle mounts were ridiculous, but somehow, they all managed to sell it. Thranduil and his elk were ridiculous, yet majestic. Dain and his boar were ridiculous, yet sensible. And the battle goats, for mountains...make weird sense.
Dwarves are just ridiculous little things anyway. War boar. Stopping fighting in the middle of the battlefield for a family reunion. headbutting their way through helmeted orcs...
Luke Evans put in a stellar turn as Bard. When you're up against a dragon, a wizard, dwarves, a battle elk, child actors and elvish hair, you have to be a strong actor.
The nazgul looked great. The maimed trolls were horrific. The earth eaters had me questioning whether I'd wandered into a Dune remake.
Elves defy the natural law, especially in combat. Legolas and the tower bit was just painful. Tauriel exemplified the Parkour approach of "let me get one toehold and you're dead" And I kept thinking Thranduil was more ticked about the schmutz in his perfect hair than anything else about the battle.
Why did no one think to take out the signal tower?
Also, Balin. I am having mad Balin love. He knows. He knows everything. He knows Bilbo has the Arkenstone. He understands what Bilbo cannot say at the gate (the scene that makes all the Bagginshield shippers wibble about "he was never that to me.")
It was a big, noisy, action-packed mess of a movie that would have benefited from being about thirty minutes shorter.
And it makes me wibble every damn time. Stupid sexy dwarves. I knew the minute I saw the promo poster I was going to get my heart broken.
I mean, he broke my heart when he looked like this:
How could these three not make me ache every time I thought about the end of this movie?
I could hear Bilbo asking the same question as Tauriel. "Why does it hurt so much?"
The answer from Gandalf would have been, "Because it was real."
