I suppose I should write
Sep. 12th, 2003 11:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdI can feel incipient depression happening.
Or maybe I'm just PMSing.
I don't want to write e-mail. I don't want to do anything.
I really don't like long periods of self-eaxmination, and I just went through one.
I am a heartless, amoral, racist, intellectual elitist bitch. I know this. I drop it on the table up front. You can take or leave me because of it. I never learned the social hypocrisy of hiding my prejudices until I was around someone with complimentary ones.
So why are people, who know this already, completely shocked when I say something in character?
It all started with shock that The March of Dimes encourages aborting babies with birth defects. I think it's a perfectly rational solution, as they are all about the numbers game of reducing birth defects. Never trust a charity that is out to put themselves out of business.
Then again, I don't see why a woman, upon learning her child will suffer from birth defects would carry to term. But that's me. I define being human by intelligence level/potential.
But there are some really ugly portions of my psyche, and some really nasty aspects of my personality that I really don't like to examine too hard. And a thread like that one devolved into let me examine for far too long.
Being good was so far against my nature that I was perpetually tied in knots. But somehow I thought being evil would be more comfortable.
Also in the news:
Leni Riefstahl, 101, brilliant and beautiful woman, with a huge influence on cinema, died this week. Imagine what movies would have been like had she not been blacklisted and had worked for the last 60 years. She was as influential as DW Griffith for technique.
Johnny Cash, 71. He'd been very ill for years so this was not unexpected. He will be missed. I was never fortunate enough to hear him in person, but I have many recordings.
John Ritter, 54. Unexpected. Terrible shame as he'd just gotten picked up for a second season.
Or maybe I'm just PMSing.
I don't want to write e-mail. I don't want to do anything.
I really don't like long periods of self-eaxmination, and I just went through one.
I am a heartless, amoral, racist, intellectual elitist bitch. I know this. I drop it on the table up front. You can take or leave me because of it. I never learned the social hypocrisy of hiding my prejudices until I was around someone with complimentary ones.
So why are people, who know this already, completely shocked when I say something in character?
It all started with shock that The March of Dimes encourages aborting babies with birth defects. I think it's a perfectly rational solution, as they are all about the numbers game of reducing birth defects. Never trust a charity that is out to put themselves out of business.
Then again, I don't see why a woman, upon learning her child will suffer from birth defects would carry to term. But that's me. I define being human by intelligence level/potential.
But there are some really ugly portions of my psyche, and some really nasty aspects of my personality that I really don't like to examine too hard. And a thread like that one devolved into let me examine for far too long.
Being good was so far against my nature that I was perpetually tied in knots. But somehow I thought being evil would be more comfortable.
Also in the news:
Leni Riefstahl, 101, brilliant and beautiful woman, with a huge influence on cinema, died this week. Imagine what movies would have been like had she not been blacklisted and had worked for the last 60 years. She was as influential as DW Griffith for technique.
Johnny Cash, 71. He'd been very ill for years so this was not unexpected. He will be missed. I was never fortunate enough to hear him in person, but I have many recordings.
John Ritter, 54. Unexpected. Terrible shame as he'd just gotten picked up for a second season.
My inner child is one year old!
Everything is new to me. I like watching the world
go by around me, and I don't sweat the small
stuff--or the large stuff, either. Just so long
as I stay warm and safe and dry, life's pretty
good.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla
I think I'll have some chocolate therapy tonight.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-12 08:59 pm (UTC)