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valarltd(Mirrored from my Blogger)
This is advice that is often given to writers.
It's not a bad bit of advice. It can be stifling if taken too literally. All we end up writing are people just like ourselves. Or, we can treat it as an imperative to go out and learn about what we're writing about.
The best advice I can give any writer, after "WRITE!" is this:
Go Do It.
Very simple, and yet so very hard. It may require experimenting outside your comfort zones, stepping outside your sexual orientation, or braving a learning curve.
Go Do It.
1) Have Sex.
2) Have Anal Sex.
3) Suck a Cock.
4) Eat a Twat.
5) Receive Oral.
6) Be Fucked with a Dildo. A Butt Plug. A Vibrator.
7) Fuck Someone with The Same.
8) Try a Strap-On
9) Fist Someone
10) Be Fisted.
11) Try Shibari.
12) Try Suspension
13) Wear Handcuffs.
14) Wear Leather Cuffs.
15) Wear a Leather Collar.
16) Wear a Metal Collar.
17) Put Cuffs on Someone
18) Put a Collar on Someone.
19) Walk on a Leash.
20) Walk Someone on a Leash.
21) Take a Blow. From a Rubber Flogger. From a Leather Flogger From a Single Tail. From a Crop. From a Paddle.
22) Throw The Same Blows.
23) Try The Position.
24) Have a Safeword.
25) Have Clamps Applied. And Removed.
26) Apply and Remove Clamps
27) Have Hot Wax, Ice, Needles, Electricity Applied to Erogenous Zones
28) Apply Hot Wax, Ice, Needles, Electricity to Erogenous Zones
29) Be Slammed Against A Wall and Kissed Ferociously
30) Slam Someone Against A Wall and Kiss Them Ferociously
31) Be Put Through the Basic Submissive Poses
32) Correct a Sub Through the Basic Submissive Poses
33) Give Aftercare
34) Receive Aftercare
35) Start a Relationship
36) Break Off a Relationship.
37) Go On a Traditional Date.
38) Have a One-Night Stand.
39) Have a Threesome.
40) Fall in Love
.
This is advice that is often given to writers.
It's not a bad bit of advice. It can be stifling if taken too literally. All we end up writing are people just like ourselves. Or, we can treat it as an imperative to go out and learn about what we're writing about.
The best advice I can give any writer, after "WRITE!" is this:
Go Do It.
Very simple, and yet so very hard. It may require experimenting outside your comfort zones, stepping outside your sexual orientation, or braving a learning curve.
Go Do It.
1) Have Sex.
2) Have Anal Sex.
3) Suck a Cock.
4) Eat a Twat.
5) Receive Oral.
6) Be Fucked with a Dildo. A Butt Plug. A Vibrator.
7) Fuck Someone with The Same.
8) Try a Strap-On
9) Fist Someone
10) Be Fisted.
11) Try Shibari.
12) Try Suspension
13) Wear Handcuffs.
14) Wear Leather Cuffs.
15) Wear a Leather Collar.
16) Wear a Metal Collar.
17) Put Cuffs on Someone
18) Put a Collar on Someone.
19) Walk on a Leash.
20) Walk Someone on a Leash.
21) Take a Blow. From a Rubber Flogger. From a Leather Flogger From a Single Tail. From a Crop. From a Paddle.
22) Throw The Same Blows.
23) Try The Position.
24) Have a Safeword.
25) Have Clamps Applied. And Removed.
26) Apply and Remove Clamps
27) Have Hot Wax, Ice, Needles, Electricity Applied to Erogenous Zones
28) Apply Hot Wax, Ice, Needles, Electricity to Erogenous Zones
29) Be Slammed Against A Wall and Kissed Ferociously
30) Slam Someone Against A Wall and Kiss Them Ferociously
31) Be Put Through the Basic Submissive Poses
32) Correct a Sub Through the Basic Submissive Poses
33) Give Aftercare
34) Receive Aftercare
35) Start a Relationship
36) Break Off a Relationship.
37) Go On a Traditional Date.
38) Have a One-Night Stand.
39) Have a Threesome.
40) Fall in Love
.
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no subject
Date: 2014-06-01 12:26 am (UTC)I guess I am just extremely vanilla in my erotica interests...don't want to read in certain kinks, never write them, don't know why I should have to explore them if it's not something I've ever want to or be comfortable/interested in writing about. Does EVERY erotica writer have to be comfortable with and interested in things like d/s and painplay if we never write about it?
no subject
Date: 2014-06-01 09:46 pm (UTC)I think every erotica writer should at least know the basics of BDSM, whether they have ever done it or not:
The scene is negotiated
The scene is consented to
The concept of safewords
If only so they can look at someone on a panel and say "That's not how it works! It's not my specialty area, but look, go talk to [Name Here] before you perpetrate more problems."
Of course, the list also suggests that straight writers have a same sex encounter and gay writers have an opposite sex one.
Date: 2014-06-02 01:08 am (UTC)I guess I'm a very vanilla erotica writer...so be it (maybe I'm more a romance writer who likes to include smutty but relatively kink-free content). So yeah, if a writer wants to write BDSM, they should absolutely understand how it works. If it's not going to cross your writing radar, I don't see why it should be in your required life experiences or research.
If the topic of BDSM were to come up at a panel I was on, I'd just stay out of it or defer to more knowledgeable/interested parties.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-01 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-01 09:48 pm (UTC)So many people are plunging in, writing stuff they don't get. And worse, other people are reading this and copying it. People are getting hurt.
This is a call to go beyond research, for those who can, and experience.