Thinking about Appropriation

[valarltd]

Denny Upkins sent this out on FB today:
#WeNeedDiverseBooks Because as a gay man, I'm sick of my existence being misrepresented in m/m slash by fetishising cis straight white women

jimhines says "That’s another piece of what appropriation means to me. Appropriation is when I take a part of your identity, your culture, your history, and I use it to create a story that isn’t for you."


Now, I'm not straight, and I'm not fetishizing, but I most certainly am appropriating by that definition. I do not write for a gay male audience. I am a woman--sort of (female-bodied with MPD)--writing for women. I have some gay readers, and they are welcome, but they are not my target.

I am telling a love story and encouraging my female readers to identify with male characters--as every other bit of media in our lives has encouraged us to--and to put away their female bodies, along with the cultural baggage that makes them problematic. I am creating a place where we're not too fat or too thin or too tall or too curvy or too bony, where there are no breasts to obsess over: size, shape, sag, pimples, hair and even nipple weirdness. Where the texture of our hair, the amount of moles on our body, the size of our pores, the shape of our nose, everything we've ever been told is WRONG (and everything is ALWAYS wrong with the female body because there is profit to be had in wrongness and the performance of beauty), all that is gone.

A place where the body we wear for the duration of the story is a simple one, with clean lines and always the right shape and size for the role it fills.

I am creating a place where sex is just as simple. Where the same motions almost always work. Not one like my own body where what feels amazing one minute and is tipping me toward orgasm suddenly turns annoying and throws cold water on everything.

It's all about uncomplicated.

I am using one group of outsiders to tell the stories for another group of outsiders. Because the stories of the second group are fraught, they come with too much baggage.

Telling heterosexual love stories is always a balancing act between politics and power and sex. How much strength is too much, on either side? When does he cross the line to abusive ass or her to ball-breaker? How much giving is too much? Is either a doormat for the other? Is he a wimp? Is she weak? And what words to use, oh dear bird! I've been over that in another post. As well as the sneaking suspicion that I'm encouraging heterosexuality, which I really don't believe is good for women.


Answers? I don't have any.
I write as the muses move me, tell the stories that demand to be told.
Yes, I realize about 9 kinds of privilege intersect for me to be able to do that.
Yes, I'm going to keep writing for women: adventure tales with characters who fall in love, regardless of sex or performed gender.
Guys, you can read if you want. But you don't get to tell me what I may and may not write.

Comments

[sidewinder.livejournal.com]

Where's my "applause.gif" when I need it?

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this.

Also, I am afraid I didn't realize you were MPD until you were packing recently. I was wondering to myself how the hell I missed that. I feel bad I didn't know sooner.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

The original post was under Inner Circle lock.

http://valarltd.livejournal.com/1796480.html

You should have access.

We hide well.