Talking about female genitals
Sep. 26th, 2013 02:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdI am an erotica writer. You know this, otherwise you wouldn't be here. So, you are warned, lots of rude words follow.
A friend of mine is saying "Ladies, love yourselves enough to include yourselves in your sexual fantasies." She doesn't get why I prefer to write men having sex.
Part of it is simple identification with male characters in media.
Growing up, I was Han Solo and Thomas Stubbins, Vad Varo and Legolas, Indiana Jones and Spock.
Part of it is being multiple choice with several male personalities.
But most of it is words.
I'm mildly synesthetic, so words have feels and tastes.
Cock is a nice, ordinary word. It fits together nicely and feels neutral in my mouth and brain. The sounds are mirrored at front and back, and the "ah" sound of the vowel is just right. Dick doesn't work so well, because of the D sound. The PR of prick leads into the short I sound better than the D. Di makes me think of "dip," "dipshit," "Dig" "dim" and other words not conducive to good sex. Penis is too clinical and the sibilant at the end makes it weak. And it puts me in mind of urination "Pee-nis."
And there are no good words for the female genitalia.
Vagina fits together all wrong and feels nasty and slippery in my mouth, as though I'm trying to hold a glass ball on my tongue. It's the "ina" coming after the j sound. Carolina works, because the N flows out of the L. The J is too hard to have anything flow after it. It needs a hard consonant, a D or T.
Vaj is relatively innocuous. It feels complete in my mouth but sounds immature.
Don't get me started on vajayjay. The redundancy makes me want to spit to clear my brain. And the "ay" ending is just wrong in every possible way. It gives me a headache to say it.
Twat works for me the same way cock does. The t sounds are mirrored and the vowel feels right. But the W makes it a silly word. It feels overly British and a little goofy and dated. It's like saying swive instead of fuck.
Pussy. Oh please gods no. The oo sound of the U and the double sibilant combined with the -y ending? It feels really vile in my mouth. It feels incomplete. And sticky. Pussy-cat works because the hard T ending and that short A balance the slithery, sticky S. It feels crude an it takes a specific type of character to use it. Not to mention it carries a connotation of weakness and cowardice.
Cunt is an unpleasant word. The hard C at the front clashes with the T at the end. It's a bitten-off word, a grunted word, with the U and the N in the middle. (sounds a lot like grunt too). It feels thick and harsh in my mouth and in my head. It is the insult of choice for those wanting to degrade a woman, because it not only reduces her to her parts, it sounds awful.
Cunny is appropriate in historical fic, but feels immature. Too close to "Pat the bunny." Anything with a -Y ending is a word that is hard to take seriously. It's less vicious than cunt, less offensive than pussy. It doesn't have the neutral feel of twat, but mentally it feels soft and a little squishy, not nasty, just odd.
And while my heroine (probably a steampunk one) may prefer to think of her equipment as a red velvet settee, soft and waiting to cradle the visitor, the audience will laugh at that.
So there you have it: why writing lesbians is tough for me. Why I don't like writing het. Why I dislike writing women in sexual situations. It's not a hatred of women. It's a hatred of the words used for women.
A friend of mine is saying "Ladies, love yourselves enough to include yourselves in your sexual fantasies." She doesn't get why I prefer to write men having sex.
Part of it is simple identification with male characters in media.
Growing up, I was Han Solo and Thomas Stubbins, Vad Varo and Legolas, Indiana Jones and Spock.
Part of it is being multiple choice with several male personalities.
But most of it is words.
I'm mildly synesthetic, so words have feels and tastes.
Cock is a nice, ordinary word. It fits together nicely and feels neutral in my mouth and brain. The sounds are mirrored at front and back, and the "ah" sound of the vowel is just right. Dick doesn't work so well, because of the D sound. The PR of prick leads into the short I sound better than the D. Di makes me think of "dip," "dipshit," "Dig" "dim" and other words not conducive to good sex. Penis is too clinical and the sibilant at the end makes it weak. And it puts me in mind of urination "Pee-nis."
And there are no good words for the female genitalia.
Vagina fits together all wrong and feels nasty and slippery in my mouth, as though I'm trying to hold a glass ball on my tongue. It's the "ina" coming after the j sound. Carolina works, because the N flows out of the L. The J is too hard to have anything flow after it. It needs a hard consonant, a D or T.
Vaj is relatively innocuous. It feels complete in my mouth but sounds immature.
Don't get me started on vajayjay. The redundancy makes me want to spit to clear my brain. And the "ay" ending is just wrong in every possible way. It gives me a headache to say it.
Twat works for me the same way cock does. The t sounds are mirrored and the vowel feels right. But the W makes it a silly word. It feels overly British and a little goofy and dated. It's like saying swive instead of fuck.
Pussy. Oh please gods no. The oo sound of the U and the double sibilant combined with the -y ending? It feels really vile in my mouth. It feels incomplete. And sticky. Pussy-cat works because the hard T ending and that short A balance the slithery, sticky S. It feels crude an it takes a specific type of character to use it. Not to mention it carries a connotation of weakness and cowardice.
Cunt is an unpleasant word. The hard C at the front clashes with the T at the end. It's a bitten-off word, a grunted word, with the U and the N in the middle. (sounds a lot like grunt too). It feels thick and harsh in my mouth and in my head. It is the insult of choice for those wanting to degrade a woman, because it not only reduces her to her parts, it sounds awful.
Cunny is appropriate in historical fic, but feels immature. Too close to "Pat the bunny." Anything with a -Y ending is a word that is hard to take seriously. It's less vicious than cunt, less offensive than pussy. It doesn't have the neutral feel of twat, but mentally it feels soft and a little squishy, not nasty, just odd.
And while my heroine (probably a steampunk one) may prefer to think of her equipment as a red velvet settee, soft and waiting to cradle the visitor, the audience will laugh at that.
So there you have it: why writing lesbians is tough for me. Why I don't like writing het. Why I dislike writing women in sexual situations. It's not a hatred of women. It's a hatred of the words used for women.
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no subject
Date: 2013-09-27 03:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-28 05:11 am (UTC)Unfortunately, it's kind of limited to historicals because when you use it in a contemporary, people giggle.
The D-Man Replies...
Date: 2013-09-29 12:24 am (UTC)Coochi
Coonch
Velvet Curtains
Silken Purse
Nether Folds
Lawls
Nethers
Poon
Poon-Tang (Asian)
Pink Velvet
Slit
Kebab (UK)
Minge (UK)
Quim (UK)
Muff
Snapper
Snatch
(Ex-military. We hear & learn a lot about girl-parts we ain't got. but would kill to get hold of after going too long without.)
Re: The D-Man Replies...
Date: 2013-09-29 09:27 pm (UTC)Are any of those actually sexy?
Or anything real people would say?
Or anything real people can read without giggling and giving the book a one-way ticket to
I'm not even going to address that list. Let's just say they rate right up there with "purple-helmeted Spartan of Love" "Violet Yogurt Cannon" and "custard-chucker" as terms I wouldn't be caught dead using.
Re: The D-Man Replies...
Date: 2013-09-30 01:54 am (UTC)Re: The D-Man Replies...
Date: 2013-09-30 03:48 am (UTC)These roll off the tongue nicely, and they are not degrading nor crude. Lawls & Nether Folds likewise should be rated right around up with Quim... which you seemed to like best of all the bad choices.
The rest were just tossed out there, but were not intended as horrid. That's where DNA Dumpster & Crotch Crack come in, and we can all do without those.
Re: The D-Man Replies...
Date: 2013-09-30 04:05 am (UTC)Coonch has that middle oo sound, and an N in there making it nasal and nasty. It has a sneer in it. It's also a regionalism off cooch and cootchie, possibly related to cooze. None of those work for me. The hard K and the oo, which always makes me think of gooey and oozing and other unpleasant words. It's from "hootchie cootchie" which dates to 1876 and is derived from the French, Coucher. There is no N in most variations.
Muff... er no. Too many other meanings and "muff diver" is derogatory for lesbian. It means the little furry pouch I used to wear to put my hands in because I couldn't stand gloves or mittens. It's slang for "to err." "He muffed the throw." And then there is Warren Oates... No. not what I want.
And honestly, what sort of words are those for an adult to use about her own body?
no subject
Date: 2013-10-01 05:58 am (UTC)