I have all the feels! And I think imma assplode.

[valarltd]

That's a pretty good summation.

There is a great deal of stress in my life right now. I am being pulled a dozen different directions.

I am painfully underemployed.

My husband is between jobs for the first time since 1995. I'm proud of him, missing him, worried about him and scared for him.

I have nightmares and flashbacks to 1995-1996. I've had nightmares about Little Rock three nights running. The whole "poverty gives you PTSD" meme isn't a joke. For the first time in 17 years, we do not have a paycheck coming in on the 15 and the 30th of the month for a set amount. And this terrifies me. I've spent more time than I like to admit staring at my very full pantry reminding myself we won't starve.
There is food.
The bills are paid.
There is money in the checking account.
I have gas in the car.
I have a paycheck coming on Friday.
We'll be all right. (I have repeated this a dozen times today alone.)

Mom's in and out of the hospital. She's bleeding from places she shouldn't be. Her platelets are too low to stop it. Her blood counts are all much too low. If she falls, she could have a stroke.

The whole mess with Victoria.

The kids are fine. Chris is eating more than usual to bulk up for his next weigh-in.

I have been informed that I will be moving in 2-3 years, simply because my con-spouse is packing me in zir gear and refusing to leave me behind again.

My small press made $6 last quarter. That is not a typo. I have to go to cons. That's all there is to it. And I must get more books out and promote more heavily.

My writing isn't worth the time I spend on it. My royalties are about $30/month.

I have a moratorium on the news and on fandom at this time. I can't deal with the ongoing War on Women, being waged at state, federal and convention levels.

Comments

[sidewinder.livejournal.com]

Have you looked at writing any quick nonfic for Bubblews? Like seriously the basic requirements are only 400 characters per posting with very minimal TOS to keep in mind (like, no plagiarism and posting in English.)

I don't know how long it will last, but I managed to pull in a quick $50 last month writing random thoughts and on various social issues...of all of the content-writing sites I've tried out through the years it's the fastest-to-decent-payout I've found.

It looks like crap, I admit, but if you find a few good people to connect with it does honestly pay and I know a number of my fellow writers who are using it as a good crutch right now for income while some of our older, formerly more reliable sources have dried up.

Just wanted to throw that out, as someone good with words it might be able to help a little bit in a tough time.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I haven't heard of them. I'll go have a look. Thank you.

[sidewinder.livejournal.com]

It's worth a shot? If you join up there, let me know - I can post an intro to my connections and hopefully get you some readers quick.

I'm honestly using it more as my personal blog than LJ or anywhere else lately, and you can use it to promote your stuff within reason (just no affiliate links.) Basically you earn a penny per view, like or comment, and once you get some steam rolling that can come fast. A lot of people I know from my Yahoo! days have all taken up camp there as the pay is so much faster and better as long as you play by the rules.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I'm on as AngeliaSparrow
I'll give it a whirl.