All of a piece

[valarltd]

My oldest is having trouble with an asshole ex. He informed her if she ever left, he would run her out of town and he has enlisted a bunch of friends to help. They have done about $3000 worth of damage to her cars. He has gotten her fired. He has tried getting her fired from the new job. I worry how long it will be before he kills her cat...or her. And the headline in the Nashville Tennesseean will read "Stripper found murdered." All the good folks will cluck over their breakfasts and read the article for what titillation they can get. And it will be MY daughter.

(Yes, restraining order, yes papertrail with police. Yes help from friends. We're doing all we can. And tomorrow, we get the gods involved)
~~~

And the rest of the news is making me want to find a lesbian separatist commune, because it's all of a piece:

Comedian Lindy West getting rape and death threats after speaking up.

Slut Shaming and Concern Trolling. Microaggressions in Geek Culture

Jim Hines has a roundup of the SFWA sexism brouhaha.

Pippa at the Spacefreighter's lounge has a more personal take on it. My favorite (for most barfworthy) bit: "A guy proffered the view that writers of SFR and female writers of SF are somehow destroying the genre. Polluting its purity. Writing 'bad' scifi."

seanan_mcguire sums it all up: "It's very telling that you'll get people saying, again, "author and lady author are just true facts," but then getting angry when you say that fine, if they want divisions, it needs to be "male and female author." No! Male is the default the norm the baseline of human experience! How dare you imply anything different!"

A Tel Aviv judge was made to step down after saying "Some girls enjoy being raped."

On May 6, the Air Force officer in charge of investigating sexual assaults was arrested. For Sexual Battery

An all-male congressional panel advanced a ban on abortions past 20 weeks. You know the time when they should be the LEAST controversial.

And the final bit:
Texas jury found shooter not guilty in death of prostitute. Said he was reclaiming his stolen cash.

And those articles right there tell me why the Ex feels he has every right to do this.

I am an agitated Mama Angel. And when you fuck with Mama Angel's kids, you fuck with the whole coven.
Bad idea...

Comments

[eroticjames.livejournal.com]

Okay, at this point it's not him but her (not a blame, but a mindset of dealing with this). Understand I've come from her background

AND I don't mean he's NOT A CRAZY PYSYCO ASSHAT, he may very well be. But he is this planet and she is an asteroid circling in his gravitational pull and can't break free.

What I mean is, right now, something is still playing into his drama. This may not be her fault. With me, I was still tied to mutual friends who, inadvertently, were still tying us together. They would talk about what "we" did and he would extrapolate how he could sill be "a part" of that. I had to, much as I hated it, cut some of them off or give them ultimatums of "it's not fair, but him or me, choose now," to insure my safety.

It did get bad enough I had dead things in my mailbox, I was in 18mo of DV outpatient counseling, I was looking into the restraining orders. It was ugly and hard.

I would suggest she get in touch with a DV shelter, they will do early intervention work on an outpatient basis or give resources for specific industries (like stripping). It will help her ID what's still "tying" them, or give her resources to "cut and run" if that's the only solution. I did Haven House, google them, you'll get a #, they can give you local resources.

Good Luck!

[eroticjames.livejournal.com]

BTW this is not fair or how it should be...but we live in a Rape culture, the victim(s) must always seek the solution. It should be the other way around.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

She's trying to live her life away from him and he keeps interfering. She's already planning a move in August (when her lease is up), the rest of us are trying to make sure she lives to pack.

She's got a safe haven and has gone there. I'll send her the Haven House number.

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

She needs a bolt hole, my home is yours to use, you know that. And the fuckheads will meet me, my shotgun, and every slug it takes and just one more.

Now and always, Angel. It is easier to run for your life when you've got somewhere to run to.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

She has a safe haven locally and the one who runs it is a gun instructor and owns a training range.

She also knows she can come home at any time she needs to. (She also knows kitty Selena can come stay with us if she needs to)

[cinnastyx.livejournal.com]

Restraining order, call police when things happen. Make sure there's a paper trail and that the police are aware of the threats he's making and damage he's doing.

She needs to contact a domestic violence shelter as eroticjames suggested. It's difficult to do, but necessary in situations like this.

Also, make sure she's got a can of pepper spray on her person at all times.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

We're doing all of that. I'll send her the DV shelter stuff today.

I think she's packing pepperspray with an eye to a gun. My fear is the guy, former military, will take it from her and use it on her instead.

[dv-girl.livejournal.com]

You missed this one: http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/06/07/2119171/anonymous-hacker-steubenville-jail/

I know that's no help but. Take me with you to the separatist colony. :(

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

We make an empowering lemon bundt.
The hacker story came out after I'd written the article. But yeah...
*facepalm*

And people wonder why I write dark futures. Why I don't write happy egalitarian post-apocalypses, but the kind where women, especially pregnant ones, are considered valuable trade goods. Because I know people.