valarltd: (help me f'lst-wan)
[personal profile] valarltd
Oren Stolt understands the natural order better than most people. Vampires prey on humans and Undying keep the vampires' numbers in check.

Until now.

Now, across the US, vampire numbers are exploding, thanks to a new church. The Tabernacle of the Firstfruits preaches a Risen Lord and invites believers to follow Him in death and resurrection...quite literally.

In Memphis, the church is about to host its first conference, with an eye to converting the whole world to the vampiric gospel.

And all that stands between humanity and eternal night is Oren, his kids and a thin line of insane immortals.


Does this work for you?
Does it give away too much?
Does this sound like something you want to read?

Date: 2011-11-10 08:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormsdotter.livejournal.com
It gives away much too much. Also, be careful of repeated words. Try this:

Vampires prey on humans. The Undying keep the vampires in check.

Until now.

A new church caused the vampire explosion. Preaching a Risen Lord, it invites believers to follow Him in death and resurrection.

Orin and a few insane immortals are all that stands between humanity and eternal night.

June 2022

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