Thoughts on Life, ordinary and extraordinary

[valarltd]

One thing that came up in class this week was "living by the social script of 'normal.'" You know: married right out of school, 2.5 kids, a house in the burbs, a dog. These days, mom and dad both work, but the kids have extracurriculars that keep them busy and look good on a college application.

I don't know anyone who fits that scripted image.

I come close. Married young (21), four kids, house on the "good side" of the bedroom community, PT Cruiser and Prius in the drive, cats. My oldest has done theater, band, literary magazine, quiz bowl, Girl Scouts community work and paid work. The next one is in band and a couple other things. He did two years of cub scouting. We own stocks, go to church, donate to charity. I go to weight watchers, garden and have a couple of hobbies. You know, very white, very middle class.

That's on the surface. We glide along, a happy family of ducks sailing serenely across the pond. Underneath, it's entirely different.

Sure, school-teacher and truck-driver. How very 1960s of us, June and Ward Cleaver all the way. Except Mudd teaches school and I drive the truck.

Charity work? yep. Time and money donated to the local gay and lesbian center and the GLBT youth group.

Church? we're a mixed faith marriage. We have at least five different beliefs among six people.

Hobbies? Rollerblading, bicycling and reading are ordinary enough. It's the metallurgical research to build a better tank, writing romance novels, and counted-cross-stitching Celtic knotwork that are a little odd.

I feel ordinary enough that I am often taken aback by people who look and say "I don't know how you do it all." or "Oh, you're amazing. I could never drive a truck/write a book/insert activity here." If I can do it, anyone can.*

In conclusion, normal is a setting on my washer.

* for the value of "anyone" that encompasses those of equivalent education, physical health, ambition, ego, etc. Post no bills. No right on red. Offer not valid in AK, UT, or the Solomon Islands

Comments

[twinkelbelpeach.livejournal.com]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Look beneath the surface of any family unit, and 'normal' goes flying out the window. There is no normal. Not nowhere, not no-one.

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

I found it easier just to create an emulator program.

Your family is SO much better than mine was

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

You work so hard at maintaining it all, too, physically, emotionally, psychically.

I don't think I'm one of the "anybodies" you're talking about, sweetie. I chose very badly in the way of partners at a crucial time in my life. Plus I'm really not sure that my major depression, as cyclic and recurrent as it is, would have allowed me to raise a family safely. I also lack the courage.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

'Normal' never happened to me. Military service, dodging suitors, no kids, pitched religion entirely, clawed out of poverty...

I had to carve out my own sort of normality. Heck, I might even own a home before I die, but the older I get, the less likely that will happen, or marriage- or even a relationship.

I'm finally at a point where I can donate to charity and not worry about it. But I've watched myself drift further and further from the socially accepted 'normal'. But at least geeks aren't total outcasts any more. There is some comfort in that.

Ah, well. No regrets.

[dragon-lord.livejournal.com]

My sister fits that to a T.

Not only that, but she married her middle school sweetheart.

[snowdropexplodes.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

"Normal" means "at right-angles to everything else". Ask any mathematician!

[mariadkins.livejournal.com]

normal is a setting on my washer

:snort: mari concurs.