valarltd | So I have two scenes

Or rather two visions of the same scene. And I can't decide which is more effective. (For those who follow, it's James/David)

So, I'm throwing it out to you, Constant Reader:

James overrode the voicelock of David’s apartment. “James Ligatos, command code alpha.” The door whispered open. The place was mildly cluttered, as always. David tended to bring work home, and it was stacked all over his desk. More papers and datachips lay beside the handheld on the table near his favorite chair. An Italian novel lay open and face down on a coffee table.

That last bothered James. He’d never known David to be so careless of a book. A quick look showed him most David’s plants had died. David never kept even ailing plants in his apartment. Only the large pothos plant–devil’s ivy that had once trailed over half the apartment, sending runners up into the curtains and over the bookshelves-- a plant David had had for years, was still alive and its outermost leaves were dead and parched.

James poured the half glass of water he found sitting beside the kitchen sink–and David never left dishes around–into the pot and went on to the bedroom. The small glowbugs that marked all the outlets lit his way. He paused in the bedroom door.

It had been two years since he’d been down here, a night of wild debauchery that had left him bleeding and torn and absolutely satisfied. The X-frame was missing. The king-sized bed was gone. The erotic art on the walls was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a narrow twin bed, a small nightstand with a lamp and alarm, a bookcase and a cheap-looking dresser made the room look even more cavernous and empty. It resembled nothing so much as a poor widower’s apartment in a retirement complex.

James overrode the voicelock of David’s apartment. “James Ligatos, command code alpha.” The door whispered open. James stared at the barren room.

David's enormous antique desk was mildly cluttered, as always. David tended to bring work home, and papers and datachips lay beside the handheld. Only the ergonomic nightmare chair that David favored remained in the room. No art, none of the many famous David sculptures adorned the walls. Michaelangelo's David, his own gift on David's 25 birthday, which had sat on the desk for thirty years was gone. No sofa, no viewscreen, no bookshelves.

That last bothered James. He’d never known David to be without a book. Or plants. For a city-dweller, David could not live without something green and growing in his rooms. Not even the large pothos plant–devil’s ivy that had once trailed over half the apartment, sending runners up into the curtains and over the bookshelves-- a plant David had had for years, could be found.

James found half a glass of water sitting beside the kitchen sink–and David never left dishes around. He peeked into the dishwasher and glared at the layer of dust. The glass and coffee cup showed David was at least still drinking. He sniffed it. Coffee, not David's tea. David hated coffee. He checked the refrigerator.

Although he himself kept a kosher kitchen, he had never required it of his people. But there was not even David's much-hoarded bacon. The refrigerator was bare. The freezer held only an ice cube tray. James checked the cabinets and shook his head to find the bag of slave kibble under the counter. David hated processed food, calling even the best of it tasteless. Now, it appeared to be all he was eating.

This had gone too far. He would put an end to the behavior tonight. The small glowbugs that marked all the outlets lit his way. He paused in the bedroom door.

It had been two years since he’d been down here, a night of wild debauchery that had left him bleeding and torn and absolutely satisfied. The X-frame was missing. The king-sized bed was gone. The erotic art on the walls was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a narrow twin bed, a small nightstand with a lamp and alarm, and a cheap-looking dresser made the room look even more cavernous and empty. It resembled nothing so much as a poor widower’s apartment in a retirement complex.

[Poll #1041295]