Here we go again
Nov. 29th, 2006 12:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdBun had a bad week and was cutting again.
Today she was pretty much okay until after dinner.
But it got so bad that I rearranged my work schedule and stayed home to give her cuddles and mom therapy.
Didn't help.
She's on her way to the hospital again. She looked up at me with big, tear-filled eyes and asked if I'd come along. I couldn't. This is a process that can take all night and someone has to be here to get the littles around in the morning.
She believes she's destined to die before she's 15. She thinks constantly of hurting and killing herself, to the point where she is actually visualizing it. She says the hospital will do no good because she doesn't stop thinking that way, she only stops talking about it.
I want to explode. i want to cry and I can't.
All my insides feel like they're being squeezed and my head hurts.
Now I have to go to bed because I have to drive tomorrow.
Today she was pretty much okay until after dinner.
But it got so bad that I rearranged my work schedule and stayed home to give her cuddles and mom therapy.
Didn't help.
She's on her way to the hospital again. She looked up at me with big, tear-filled eyes and asked if I'd come along. I couldn't. This is a process that can take all night and someone has to be here to get the littles around in the morning.
She believes she's destined to die before she's 15. She thinks constantly of hurting and killing herself, to the point where she is actually visualizing it. She says the hospital will do no good because she doesn't stop thinking that way, she only stops talking about it.
I want to explode. i want to cry and I can't.
All my insides feel like they're being squeezed and my head hurts.
Now I have to go to bed because I have to drive tomorrow.
