A clarification
Apr. 26th, 2005 08:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdI know I'm being fandom wanked, so I know this is fair game.
I hate explaining.
Why I don't like male-written femmeslash
1) Porno-sensibility. Real sex, esp. real femsex, is not very interesting to anyone but the participants. There's nothing to see, really. Done right, cunnilingus involves all of the twat and most of the face. But, since most lesbians aren't letting men watch, all they have to go on is porn.
2) Most men have no clue about women's bodies. They range from selfish and ignorant to gentle but baffled to clumsy and clueless. The latter can be educated, but tend to end up in the "gentle but baffled" category, despite years of training. My experience is--admittedly--limited, but I've encountered exactly 2 in 20 years who know how to please a woman, and only one of them really enjoys it.
3) There is a general male characteristic that "I have a penis, I'm in charge" any time they move into spaces that have formerly been women's. I've seen this in everything from fandom to Vacation Bible School, in all ages from late teens to retirees. I swear it's Y linked.
These three factors tend to combine in male-written erotica. Coupled with my vivid reading imagination, I often find myself in erotic spaces that are distinctly uncomfortable, if not outright revolting, when reading male-written stuff.
While I can brush off most of the het stuff (not all), the femmeslash feels like a complete invasion. That aspect of my sexuality is not for men. Having a man swagger in, plop down his action figures, proceed to get it all wrong and then ask "Was it good for you too, baby?" leaves me feeling filthy.
I know: don't like, don't read.
So I don't.
Apparently this makes me a man-hating sexist with a double-standard who really needs to get laid.
I'm not saying men aren't allowed to write it. I'm not saying a rare few men don't get it right. This is just my little clarification on why I don't read it, why much of it offends me.
I hate explaining.
Why I don't like male-written femmeslash
1) Porno-sensibility. Real sex, esp. real femsex, is not very interesting to anyone but the participants. There's nothing to see, really. Done right, cunnilingus involves all of the twat and most of the face. But, since most lesbians aren't letting men watch, all they have to go on is porn.
2) Most men have no clue about women's bodies. They range from selfish and ignorant to gentle but baffled to clumsy and clueless. The latter can be educated, but tend to end up in the "gentle but baffled" category, despite years of training. My experience is--admittedly--limited, but I've encountered exactly 2 in 20 years who know how to please a woman, and only one of them really enjoys it.
3) There is a general male characteristic that "I have a penis, I'm in charge" any time they move into spaces that have formerly been women's. I've seen this in everything from fandom to Vacation Bible School, in all ages from late teens to retirees. I swear it's Y linked.
These three factors tend to combine in male-written erotica. Coupled with my vivid reading imagination, I often find myself in erotic spaces that are distinctly uncomfortable, if not outright revolting, when reading male-written stuff.
While I can brush off most of the het stuff (not all), the femmeslash feels like a complete invasion. That aspect of my sexuality is not for men. Having a man swagger in, plop down his action figures, proceed to get it all wrong and then ask "Was it good for you too, baby?" leaves me feeling filthy.
I know: don't like, don't read.
So I don't.
Apparently this makes me a man-hating sexist with a double-standard who really needs to get laid.
I'm not saying men aren't allowed to write it. I'm not saying a rare few men don't get it right. This is just my little clarification on why I don't read it, why much of it offends me.
