A rant about cows, for tictactacogirl

[valarltd]

Where to start on these creatures? They're big and smelly. They leave appalling piles in the pasture, usually right where you're about to put your foot after you've finished nailing down the last board in your treehouse.

They drool. All the time. So gross. And they've got no sense at all. A six year old with a stick can bully one, but don't ever get on a cow's bad side. If you do, that stick won't avail you anything and you'd just better run for the gate and hope your climbing skills are up to snuff.

Have you ever smelt a dairy barn? Reeee-volting. Imagine 10-12 of the brutes, all in there, drooling away and stinking, while someone is hooking up machines that run on an ozone producing generator up to them. And factor in some spring melt-mud and dirt-road dust.

And the use of cows as decorative motifs? That's just weird. If you want an animal, horses are noble, and kittens are cute. Cows are just appalling.

My favorite place for a cow is rare on a plate beside a baked potato.