Trigger warnings

[valarltd]

No, not that Trigger.

Lately, everyone seems to be demanding trigger warnings on everything. There is some mockery of college students wanting their teachers to warn them about "passages that may evoke an unpleasant emotion." There is much mockery of those who requested applause be exchanged for jazz hands, because applause and whooping can interrupt the speaker, or distract and intimidate. Be honest, how many places have you been where the applause got to be annoying in its interruption? (I've been using jazz hands for years because of my arthritis)

I've been known to say "If you require a 'trigger warning: violence' for the mere word 'violence' how in the world do you function?"

I understand that people can be triggered, and unexpectedly, by many things.
I sent a friend into a cringing flashback simply by snapping my belt. (I apologized profusely)
I had a drowning flashback during a music video, for no readily apparent reason. (I've watched drowning scenes in movies, but this video sent me gasping for air. Shame as it's one of my favorite songs.)
I've seen my sister be triggered and fly into an absolute rage. (She harnessed that rage and put her rapist behind bars forever)
I've had a friend panic herself into an asthma attack because my messy kitchen mentally sent her right back into a 10 year long abusive relationship and for a while it felt as if she hadn't escaped.

But triggering is not simply "This bit of writing makes me sad or mad or vexed." It isn't even my reaction to Lolita: "This man is making me complicit in the rape of his 12 year old stepdaughter and I want a shower!" It's not mere discomfort or dislike. It's not feeling unpleasant.

Triggering is a much deeper reaction than simple "eww." It's much more than an unpleasant image that lingers long after the book is closed. It's uncontrollable. It requires recovery and reorientation time.

But some of the current requests feel less like "please help me not have a flashback" and more like "don't push my comfort levels", "Don't make me think about unpleasant things" and "warn me for everything."

We're all damaged, true enough. But there comes a point when you have to stand up and face the damage and walk on. Staying in the comfort zone gets you nowhere.

Comments

[sidewinder.livejournal.com]

Where's the Like button for this?

Honestly. I appreciate that some close friends here on LJ and elsewhere know of a couple personal touchy subjects for me and put such content behind a cut/warn me in advance. I don't expect it, I don't ask for it, I certainly wouldn't expect a random stranger on the internet to know what are weirdly upsetting things to me which most other people in the world don't mind or actually find happy things. I know I have to be proactive in some cases and simply stop following people who post things regularly I find upsetting. But that's my responsibility to take, not theirs.

And yet last night I'm on Tumblr and there's now a meme going around that we need to put trigger warnings for "food" on any posts we make there during Ramadan, because otherwise they could "trigger" any Muslim who is fasting. I've repeatedly had people tell me (on FB and G+ communities) how any posting about a meat-based dish I cook "triggers" them because they are veg*n. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE FUNCTION IN EVERYDAY SOCIETY. REALLY, HOW.

[bittermint.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if you're still so emotionally crippled from a past event that everyone around you has to police themselves lest they trigger you...

Get yourself to a fucking therapist.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

What trauma do Muslims have about fasting? The ones I worked with would visit in the cafeteria, even if they weren't eating.

Meat dishes are "triggery?" What are they triggering? Flashbacks to the summer they worked in a slaughter house?

I suspect it's much like me: I have to deal with all kinds of crap every day. I come home, I want my internet feed as devoid of that crap as possible.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Some things, you don't know they're a trigger until they hit. And I'd feel ridiculous telling a therapist "this music video brings up past-life death trauma and I relive my drowning all over again." A sensible therapist would say "then don't watch that video!"

Black pants during sex were a trigger for me for a few years. There was a simple solution: Take off the pants!

But seriously. I understand some people can be plunged right into flashbacks, but I doubt everyone demanding "Violence" as a word be warned for is in that category.

[bittermint.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean you specifically. I was speaking of the generic "you." You know?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

My point was that in many cases there are simple solutions once one figures out what the problem is.