From an old mailing list post

[valarltd]

You're reading too much slash fic when:

Your six year old son announces, "Boys kiss boys and girls kiss
girls."

You hear the words "slasher movie" and the horror genre does NOT
leap instantly to mind.

You see the abbreviation m-f replacing an expletive and think "oh,
het fic."

You're reading along and hubby says, "What's happening?" "Sabbac
tournament, house rules. This round, straight sabbac." And he
says, "Not in Elusive Lover, it's not."

Your husband watches movies with you and has appropriated your
phrase "It's a subtext moment."

Your preteen daughter has gone gender-bending and decided that if
Ares can get pregnant, she can be Indiana Jones, and not Willie
Scott. (Indy has more fun anyway.) She sleeps with her fedora over
her face on long car trips.

Same child starts awake from sleep with a yell, manages "The
plotbunnies got me!" And goes back to sleep.

You get a new zine and look at some of the art involving a character
you usually slash, and think "For some reason that looks wrong." An
hour later it hits you: it was a semi-canon het drawing.

The kids play "Hide the plotbunny" with your mascot. (A small porcupine
ball with a rabbit head and feet)

You burst out laughing at an odd moment and the family look at each other
and say "She's had an idea."

The same six year old, watching _Phantom Menace_, sees the death scene and
yells "Kiss him, Obi-wan!" at the TV.

You practice with your husband trying to figure out just how to write the
next sex scene without giving anyone a sprained back.

You watch porno movies. And critique the technique.

You're innocently listening to an old mix tape and suddenly start changing
the words to fit your favorite male couple.

Het kisses look weird.