Crisis of writerly confidence

[valarltd]

I'm at THAT STAGE of writing. The point where Neil Gaiman calls his agent and announces he's going to become a garbage collector as he clearly has no talent. The agent just smiles and says brightly, "Ah, we're at THAT STAGE, are we?"

I got two royalty checks this month. They totaled $32.
One book sale netted me a whole 2 cents. I make more than that walking across the parking lot!
The best novel I've written has sold 20 copies, despite good reviews.

I have 2 books, a game book and a short story synopsis in the works.

I am stumped on one book.
I hate the second.
And my muses are side-eying the short story anthology going "Really? You really think you're up to annother funny one?"

Whine whine whine.
Put on your big girl panties and drive the damn bus, Angel.

But someone tell me I'm not hollering down a rainbarrel to hear my own voice?
Someone tell me I'm not devoting my life to writing books no one will read?
Because if no one wants my stories, i've got a house that needs cleaning and blankets to crochet.

Comments

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

The market is shit right now, with consumer confidence low and disposable cash tight. Don't equate the quality of what you're doing with the market being there to support it. You do great work, but you're not an easy fluffy-boink writer - and readers of the tougher stuff seem to have disproportionately less money than the fluffy-boink readers; I don't know why that is, but it's true in every genre - Dan Brown outsells Umberto Eco EVERY TIME.

Chin up, dearie. There's swashbuckling and anarchy in your future, just waiting to be written.

[kimberlyfdr.livejournal.com]

Sorry you're in a bad place with your writing :( I think we all get to that point, often looping back to it time and time again, but we push on because we can't NOT write. The key is to do what makes you feel best. If you're enjoying the stories you're telling, that's the most important.

[jlm121.livejournal.com]

DEEP BREATH

Inhale

Exhale.
You're allowed to freak out but also think abut the fact that you're doing what many people want to do but either can't or don't have the discipline to. It's difficult right now. But right now passes and becomes the past. You've come off a writer's high because your last stuff came quick and easy, now you're having to do the other stuff.

You write. That's what you do. You would do it whether or not you were being published. You have always done it. I believe that you will always do it.

[m-barnette.livejournal.com]

Also keep in mind the m/m market is flooded. Take a look at Elisa's new book release listings and you'll see this clearly. Even two years ago there weren't this many m/m titles coming out. Now there are so many m/m only publishers--and more opening up all the time--that readers are being inundated by choices. They are also far more selective in their purchases due to all the available titles coming out. Sales volume on m/m titles in general is being reported as on the decline by all the publishers I've spoken to, probably because the money is being spread across so many possible publishers.

Add to that what CB said and it's a recipe for no one making very much in the m/m market right now.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I gotta get through biker gangs and cyberpunk BDSM to get there.

And both of those sound so much cooler than they are...

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Yep, plugging right along.
5 words, 15 minutes, a thousand words...

Anything to get it all done.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

I know. And most of my stuff is no longer m/m. It tends to the bisexual, and m/m reviewers won't touch it.

I'm down to writing het.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Thanks. i know you already listened to this whine. It's just hanging on a lot longer than usual.

I know a story is problematic when I require alcohol to face it

The D-Man Checks In

[(Anonymous)]

Someone tell me I'm not hollering down a rainbarrel to hear my own voice?
=-=-=-=

You seem to have amble followers right here to handily dispel that foolish notion.

=======

Someone tell me I'm not devoting my life to writing books no one will read?
=-=-=-=

Your sales would seem to say that someone is reading your books. You do not tend to write for a market that could be considered mainstream, so naturally sales are not flooding in. Add to that the current economy and money being tight all around, and is -anybody- in this venue making money hand over fist right now?

=======

Because if no one wants my stories, I've got a house that needs cleaning and blankets to crochet.
=-=-=-=

(*Deep Breath*)
Take a flamin' break when you need one.
Finish the edits on Hard Reboot, then set it aside while you/we figure on what needs changing and/or adding to bring it more in line with your usual fare (the stuff you actually look forward to). Also kindly remember, as you once reminded me, that you tend to write about some pretty deed sh*t, so (naturally) it ain't always gonna come easy, and there's just certain things that truly just have no humor in them (like human trafficking). When you base a whole story around something so deep & dark, there ain't gonna be a whole lot of skipping through the tulips (as you prefer) until maybe right up til the very last chapter when things resolve (hopefully in favor of the hero & heroine instead of the villains).

Clean the house.
Work on some crafts.
Get your head out of the game for a while.

Take some 'me' time.

Re: The D-Man Checks In

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

A couple of writer friends, one of my editors and my sister do not count as "ample." Most of the time I do feel like I'm tapdancing for myself.

I took the evening off, and then the next DJ book bounced right in. I'll poke at Hard Reboot when my eyes aren't crossing from formatting.