I can't afford a "lifestyle"
Nov. 20th, 2011 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdIt's been bouncing around for a while.
"Do you think the other kids are upset she's living a lesbian/bi lifestyle?"
"How do you reconcile your alternative lifestyle writings with having kids?"
First off, we don't have a "lifestyle" to start with.
We can't afford one. We're too busy working, coming home, doing second-shift work and sleeping to have a lifestyle.
We have routines. Sunday is groceries and laundry. Monday is TV day, when I catch up on my Tivo'd stuff. I go to bed about 7:30-8 PM and get up at bizarre hours to go to work.
Second, the only thing alternative about my lifestyle is that it starts 7 hours before your day does.
Let's unpack the second question. The assumptions going in:
1) GLBT people don't have kids
2) GLBT romance is something shameful that need to be hidden from kids
3) Writing is something women shouldn't expose the kids to.
4) Being a mom is more central to my identity than being queer
5) Since I'm bi, I should just pass for straight and never deal in bisexual stuff where the kids can find out.
Bullshit. I am a queer pagan mom of queer pagan children. (I suspect Oli may be bi. She's hot for boobs right now) They know what I write and they knew I'm queer. That's all fine. They know I sleep with and have sex with their daddy (they pick up early what the closed bedroom door means!). I don't do it in front of them. Likewise, they know if I lose their dad, I won't marry a man, but might consider a wife.
My kids know I write. My books are in the house and on the bookshelf.They're proud of the fact their mama is a writer and makes books.
My lifestyle? about the same as anyone else's.
Get up, go to work
Come home
write
cook dinner
go to bed.
Laundry and groceries on Sunday
Doctor appointments
Dentist appointments
band concerts
house in the suburbs
Used to have a minivan, traded it for a Prius.
2 cats
We're so ordinary it makes my teeth ache.
Tell me where you get "lifestyle" out of any of that.
"Do you think the other kids are upset she's living a lesbian/bi lifestyle?"
"How do you reconcile your alternative lifestyle writings with having kids?"
First off, we don't have a "lifestyle" to start with.
We can't afford one. We're too busy working, coming home, doing second-shift work and sleeping to have a lifestyle.
We have routines. Sunday is groceries and laundry. Monday is TV day, when I catch up on my Tivo'd stuff. I go to bed about 7:30-8 PM and get up at bizarre hours to go to work.
Second, the only thing alternative about my lifestyle is that it starts 7 hours before your day does.
Let's unpack the second question. The assumptions going in:
1) GLBT people don't have kids
2) GLBT romance is something shameful that need to be hidden from kids
3) Writing is something women shouldn't expose the kids to.
4) Being a mom is more central to my identity than being queer
5) Since I'm bi, I should just pass for straight and never deal in bisexual stuff where the kids can find out.
Bullshit. I am a queer pagan mom of queer pagan children. (I suspect Oli may be bi. She's hot for boobs right now) They know what I write and they knew I'm queer. That's all fine. They know I sleep with and have sex with their daddy (they pick up early what the closed bedroom door means!). I don't do it in front of them. Likewise, they know if I lose their dad, I won't marry a man, but might consider a wife.
My kids know I write. My books are in the house and on the bookshelf.They're proud of the fact their mama is a writer and makes books.
My lifestyle? about the same as anyone else's.
Get up, go to work
Come home
write
cook dinner
go to bed.
Laundry and groceries on Sunday
Doctor appointments
Dentist appointments
band concerts
house in the suburbs
Used to have a minivan, traded it for a Prius.
2 cats
We're so ordinary it makes my teeth ache.
Tell me where you get "lifestyle" out of any of that.
