![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valarltdEvery family has it. The gift that was so dreadful it surpassed badness and went straight to Family Legend. This is our family's story. The Dress.
It was 1991.
I was 5 months pregnant with Victoria.
My father was married to a size 2 with a pair of size 0 daughters, none of whom was more than 5' tall. For reference, I am 6' and size 16 at the time. I had lots of long red hair and am an autumn.
And my stepmother bought me maternity clothing.
The sweater and tops were all right, but then I opened...The Dress.
According to Mudd, a look of shocked horror passed over my face as I peered in the box.
The dress was black. With pink and orange and blue and lavender and green flowers and bubbles printed all over it. It had a dropped waist with a peplum, and a solid black rib-knit skirt that bound my thighs together. It had a bow on the butt. It had a black peter pan collar, and a pink button and a black bow and a blue button and a black bow and an orange button.
I put it on, against my better judgement.
I looked like Peggy Bundy.
Mudd had to get me down the stairs because the skirt made me only able to walk from the knees down.
My mother, later, took a single look at the dress and said "How badly does this woman hate you?"
I got the receipt and took it back. In its place, I got a lovely green dress with hints of lavender. The punchline? There were SIX identical dresses on the return rack.
It was 1991.
I was 5 months pregnant with Victoria.
My father was married to a size 2 with a pair of size 0 daughters, none of whom was more than 5' tall. For reference, I am 6' and size 16 at the time. I had lots of long red hair and am an autumn.
And my stepmother bought me maternity clothing.
The sweater and tops were all right, but then I opened...The Dress.
According to Mudd, a look of shocked horror passed over my face as I peered in the box.
The dress was black. With pink and orange and blue and lavender and green flowers and bubbles printed all over it. It had a dropped waist with a peplum, and a solid black rib-knit skirt that bound my thighs together. It had a bow on the butt. It had a black peter pan collar, and a pink button and a black bow and a blue button and a black bow and an orange button.
I put it on, against my better judgement.
I looked like Peggy Bundy.
Mudd had to get me down the stairs because the skirt made me only able to walk from the knees down.
My mother, later, took a single look at the dress and said "How badly does this woman hate you?"
I got the receipt and took it back. In its place, I got a lovely green dress with hints of lavender. The punchline? There were SIX identical dresses on the return rack.
