Thoughts

[valarltd]

I think I have gafiated.

I don't read any of the fannish mailing lists. I need to resign as listmom.
I don't read fannish squee in anyone's LJ.
I don't watch source.
I don't vid.
I don't read or write much fic.
I don't want to go to cons anymore, except as a guest.
I don't contribute meta.

And this year, the thought of signing up for yuletide fills me with weariness and dread instead of excitement.

My first thought was "I need November to write Alive on the Inside. I can't sacrifice three pages to yuletide." And I thought of the usual headdesk. And the hassle of writing to spec.


The Den of Debauchery will remain open.
The LJ will stay in place.

and if the fannish squee returns, it will be spread. If it doesn't, ah well.

The really awful part is that I'm not even sad to be leaving fandom. Just kind of...pensive.

Comments

It won't hurt you to take a break, sweetie

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

Let the well refill and don't put yourself under any additional strain. But if you can make an excuse to come to St. Louis, do it!

[drewbeartx.livejournal.com]

Okay, so I got the meaning of "gafiate" from context, but what's its origin?

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

It's an old fannish acronym: Getting Away From It All
It used to mean getting away from the mundane world and into fan activity.
Now it means leaving fandom.

[kc-anathema.livejournal.com]

Me and another friend discovered that there's nothing like a job to kill our freakin' fanfic time. And you kinda got two jobs, three counting family. You busy.

[reannon.livejournal.com]

You're not leaving fandom. Your energies are being redirected elsewhere. I know I'll catch it for this, but I've always felt fanfic and creative fandom was an excellent training ground for creatives, but it cannot be a final destination if you are to continue to grow. It's not that you appreciate others' worlds less, it's just that you have your own worlds to create. Don't feel awful about not feeling awful. You can find other ways to be a fan that still leave your mind and muse free to do the work you're meant to do.

Just my $0.02.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Actually, at the moment, I'm not interested in being a fan at all.

Example: I was excited that Aaron Stanford got his own series, even if it only ran for 8 eps. I tivo'd it, watched two eps and forgot it. (I have two or three of his movies on Tivo, and have watched the first ten minutes of all of them)

I've wanted to see Bubba Ho-Tep since it came out. It's sat on my Tivo since January. I've seen about 15 minutes of it.

We even missed the last Harry Potter movie in the theaters.

No interest in source is the most damning thing on the list. It's what makes the difference between taking a break and leaving.

[morgan-lowri.livejournal.com]

Yeah, realizing that part of your life is done with is always sort of an 'oh' moment.

It happened for me earlier this year when writing other people's characters just wasn't satisfying anymore, and even before that I was veering them off into AU Land and making them my own anyway.

So. Yeah.

*hugs*

[sydmcginley.livejournal.com]

hugs you.

It's a rite of passage baby.
And painful as they all are.
Leaving home and off on your own quest.
Those that stay don't always like that you leave.

I sat and wrote my own stuff last night even with Dr Who audible in the next room. Just a few months ago I'd have said you were nuts to suggest I do such a thing.


We get more original Angel stuff right? Then the world is better for this.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

uh, yeah.
I have at least 3 more coming this year, and a couple for next year.
(plus at least 3 more for next year that aren't contracted)

[vysila.livejournal.com]

Well, if the fannish love does ever return, you know where to find fandom. *g* Needs change, and if fandom no longer meets your needs then it certainly is time to move on. We'll miss you, though! Best of luck in the writing career.

Also, if you need me to take over as mod on that one list, let me know.

[dragonscholar.livejournal.com]

I understand myself. My case is that, in most cases I am entirely meta or "support." I analyze, do events, run seventh sanctum, but it doesn't exactly feel fannish. I think sometimes our level and kind of involvement changes-because we do.

To be honest

[jlm121.livejournal.com]

I am surprised this did't happen last year or the year before. You've been involved in fandom literally what 25 plus years? It's been a great incubator for your talents but you've gone from other peoples' characters to your own. There has not been material out there that has energized and interested you because you're busy creating your own stuff. I am sure we have not heard your last fanish squee (I am thinking as long as Oded is working, there exists squeeing opportunity.

Congrads Peter Pan, a grown up ye be.

[shinymarigold.livejournal.com]

People do, from time to time. Sometimes they come back, sometimes not. But you are more than the sum of your fandoms, and this is not a bad thing.