valarltd: (Default)
valarltd ([personal profile] valarltd) wrote2008-11-13 07:37 am

It's going around like the flu

If you saw ME in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for? Answer me, then if you want, post to your own journal and see how many crimes you get accused of.

[identity profile] reannon.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 01:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Aggravated assault.

The S.O.B. deserved it.

[identity profile] tsita.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I've got a couple contenders for that position.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Help me hide the bodies, and Nunzio of the Literary Underworld is at your service.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Everyone thinks I'm so violent!

But as long as it was deserved violence...

[identity profile] hopefuldark.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
assault, possibly assault with a deadly weapon.

if I *knew* it was you? ummm... lewd behaviour? indecent exposure? *giggles*

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Indecent exposure AND assault with deadly cleavage
ext_13979: (Caxton Chaucer)

[identity profile] ajodasso.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 02:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Espionage!

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Okay...

Never thought of that.

[identity profile] gehayi.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Indecent exposure.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Total gimme on that one.

[identity profile] cinnastyx.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
inciting mayhem.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Lol. Mayhem. I like the sound of that.

[identity profile] dv-girl.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Writing pornography while driving through Texas.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
LOL. Writing and driving. That's a real trick.

Although I have written pornography while parked and idling in Texas...
Edited 2008-11-14 03:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] oxbastetxo.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Bopping someone on the head with a placard at a protest rally.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
I can actually see doing that too.

You know me too well.

[identity profile] tsita.livejournal.com 2008-11-13 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Using your truck as a deadly weapon against the stupid.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
You know those trucks are only fiberglass, right?

We hit anything and we're goners.

(That said, I ran over a construction barrel that had escaped its sandbag and was rolling along in my lane last week.)

[identity profile] jlm121.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Civil Disobedience, resisting arrest, and assault against a police officer. All stemming from an incident in the public library when the local Christian Resistance Movement(That is what they are calling themselves now right?) staged a book burning. You drove your truck through the torch wielding masses and slapped a cop.

[identity profile] valarltd.livejournal.com 2008-11-14 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Activist Dyke Mom strikes again, eh?

Maybe I need to quit blogging about protests since y'all think I'm some sort of radical.

"Grandma was a radical, she started as a kid
I wouldn't dare to tell you even half of what she did.
She danced at demonstrations, she marched on picket lines.
She blew up parking meters. She shot up traffic signs."
Edited 2008-11-14 03:51 (UTC)

(Anonymous) 2008-11-14 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
The D-Man Checks In:

Disorderly Conduct, likely at a gay rights rally after somebody got pushy. You didn't start the fight, but darn you sure finished it.

Civil Disobedience/Failure to Disperse, likely at the same gay rights rally, because you weren't bothering anyone, and public places are still for the public... Gay, bi, straight, or undecided.

Indecent Exposure, probably due to accidental (on-purpose) wardrobe malfunction.

Lewd Conduct in a Public Place, for reasons only The Goddess might understand (but it seemed like a good idea at the time).

Embezzlement (not necessarily money, as this charge can apply to any property entrusted into your care), but you had a really good reason to borrow said item(s), and you sincerely did intend to give it back when you were done.

Vehicular Homicide (but the prick dearly deserved to be street pizza), likely 2nd or 3rd degree.

Resisting Arrest (total misunderstanding, I'm sure: The cop's face just got in the way of your elbow, and when you stooped to try helping him up you lost your balance & accidentally landed on his chest with both kneecaps).

Espionage (your shoe phone unfortunately had to start ringing while you were being handcuffed.)

(Anonymous) 2008-11-14 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
The D-Man Continues to Check In:

Add to the above list of charges, Carrying a Concealed Weapon (which you actually weren't; you just told the cute blonde cop with the nice glutes that you were, so that she'd frisk you again--and do a real extra thorough job of it that 2nd time. Turned out later that the concealed weapon(s) you were referring to were you nipples. When it gets cold, you can use those things to cut glass!)