![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Stuck on a touchy piece of writing
Shell-shocked is a piece Naomi and I are working on at the moment.
It's touchy in a lot of ways. There are political, religious and disability issues brought up in it.
We want to make sure of a few things:
1) We're not exploiting disability or mental illness.
2) We're not exploiting or being disrespectful to veterans.
3) We're not squicking our audience by presenting a pair of disabled lovers.
4) Our guys are likeable and strong enough to carry the story.
5) We're getting the religion right and not being idiots about it.
Anyone who wants to help, bounce over, have a read of the first 9K words, and tell me your opinion.
We're thinking of going novel length and we want it to work.
It's touchy in a lot of ways. There are political, religious and disability issues brought up in it.
We want to make sure of a few things:
1) We're not exploiting disability or mental illness.
2) We're not exploiting or being disrespectful to veterans.
3) We're not squicking our audience by presenting a pair of disabled lovers.
4) Our guys are likeable and strong enough to carry the story.
5) We're getting the religion right and not being idiots about it.
Anyone who wants to help, bounce over, have a read of the first 9K words, and tell me your opinion.
We're thinking of going novel length and we want it to work.
no subject
2. I feel no disrespect is being given to veterans. You are, once again, portraying a part of today's reality. Unfortunately it sucks, but you are doing it tastefully.
3. I'm not squicked. I like the fact that you have an unusual pairing. So far, it's been tastefully done. Even people who have disabilities need love and affection.
4. They are definitely likable. I'm really digging Gabe. I like the way neither one shies away from the other's disabilities. I like the way that they are helping one another. Appears to be a very positive relationship at this point.
5. Ah... Religion. One of my hot buttons. So far, you are providing interesting tid bits about Gabe's pagan ways. It's being done in a way that these two are trying to get to know one another and Sean is curious about it so there's discussion. Doesn't come across a preachy or self righteous. I really hate that. Be careful not to cross that fine line.
Something separate from the above. Love the name Sean Michael Dempsey. I got a kick out of the Sean Michael part and the fact that your character rights romances. Then you mentioned the Jarheads books. Couldn't help but be amused.
So far, I'm liking this story.
shari
no subject
Hadn't planned to do much more religious talking, except the whole "Sorry you're hospitalized now. we're gonna miss dancing at Imbolc."
no subject
The Jarhead reference was here or at least I interpreted it as such:
>Lately, he'd been seeing a lot more calls for gay romances. Bless >Billary and Don't Ask, Don't Tell, he thought as he saved his editing on >the treacly Christmas cowboy piece. He'd put in a good hour on a science >fiction story, getting six pages written. Typing wasn't his strongest >skill. The edits had taken another hour and a half. Now it was his time >and he'd found a great idea under the soap dish in the shower this >morning.
I hope the feedback helped some.
shari
no subject
Nice to know we're not out on a limb with this.
I felt like we were really getting whacko
no subject
This is one story that could easily turn that way. You'll need to remain cognizant of that throughout writing this story. Right now, it's the start of a what will ultimately be a loving, caring relationship.
shari
no subject
Sean becomes Gabe's legs. Gabe talks Sean back from the edge when he's freaking.
Then there are complications... false abuse reports, pneumonia, eviction, etc. And they cope.
no subject
shari