Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Spoilers

[valarltd]

Spoil me! You have until actual book release. After that, I will be voraciously devouring the book and NOT reading LJ.

BUT

They must be FAKE spoilers.
Give it to me weird. (Draco elopes with the Giant Squid, and Hogwarts collapses out of jealousy in Chapter 12!)
Give it to me funny. (During the climactic battle, Harry and Voldemort cross the wands and everyone dies in the subsequent shower of twinkies the size of Central Park and roasted marshmallow goo)
Give it to me utterly mundane. (page 27. "it" "the" Chapter 2 "red hair")



So spoil me!
Thanks acrossthestars.

Comments

[deannie.livejournal.com]

Tonks reveals herself to be the forbidden lovechild of Remus and James, as it is a little-known secret that werewolves can change sex during coitus. The ghost of Sirius, enraged by this state of affairs, returns to haunt Remus, but Harry convinces him to reconcile with his former lover, and Harry and Tonks spend days reminiscing about their vague memories of their father while Remus looks on dotingly.