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Avoidance types of silliness
Your Starship Captain might be a redneck if...
Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month.
He paints flames and puts a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".
He refers to Klingons as "Critters".
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum
foil.
He installs a set of bull horns on the front of the saucer section.
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies."
He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen.
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage."
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba".
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "BassMaster".
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.
He paints the starship John Deere green.
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special".
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.
His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' Bubba after a meal of beans
and weenies.
He sets phaser to "Cajun".
You might be a Star Wars redneck if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer-colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good
sheets.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to
spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off
bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark
side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever told your R-2 unit to use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
You've ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your
landspeeder.
You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel, 'cause he
looks a little sissy in that vest.
You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke
shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to
get in through the window.
You've ever fallen in love with your sister.
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil
empire as "them damn Yankees."
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a
red wood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks
during the cantina scene.
In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right."
Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month.
He paints flames and puts a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles.
You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob".
He refers to Klingons as "Critters".
He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns".
He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum
foil.
He installs a set of bull horns on the front of the saucer section.
He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing
frequencies."
He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen.
He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it.
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage."
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba".
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "BassMaster".
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens.
He paints the starship John Deere green.
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special".
His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.
His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' Bubba after a meal of beans
and weenies.
He sets phaser to "Cajun".
You might be a Star Wars redneck if...
Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
Strawberry Hill.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer-colored.
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good
sheets.
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to
spit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off
bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark
side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever told your R-2 unit to use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
You've ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."
You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your
landspeeder.
You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel, 'cause he
looks a little sissy in that vest.
You've ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke
shorts.
You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to
get in through the window.
You've ever fallen in love with your sister.
You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil
empire as "them damn Yankees."
You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a
red wood deck.
You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks
during the cantina scene.
In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain't right."
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May I link? I'll have to do some of these...
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Floating around since the days when we were all on Usenet. I saved them eons ago.
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other then thatn, the whole thing just strongly reminded me of Capt. Tight Pants, I mean Mal Reynolds....
If there was *ever* a rednecked ship or Capt... it would be him...